Jewish Life Digital Edition November 2014 | Page 26

CHANUKAH 5775

Three ways to give thanks

THIS CHANUKAH
I WAS SITTING IN A TAXI ON MY WAY TO JERUSALEM.
The traffic was growing slower, and I began
to worry that I would be late for my clients.
It was my first year working as a family
therapist, and I had begged my supervisor
not to assign me any Hebrew-speaking clients. My Hebrew was decent but definitely
not good enough to understand the necessary emotional nuances in therapy sessions.
The couple that I was about to meet was the
one exception on my English-speaking client list, and I was really struggling with
them. Every time I met with them they
would begin fighting in rapid Hebrew as
soon as they sat down. I couldn’t understand a word they were saying.
My cell phone rang as the taxi inched
its way forward on the road. It was my supervisor. “Can you please just assign them
to another therapist who can actually understand what they’re saying?” I pleaded
with her.
“You can do it. Your Hebrew is good
enough. You just need to be a little more
confident. Don’t give up so easily.” Her
voice sounded a million miles away as I
glanced anxiously out the window and
hung up the phone.
The taxi driver looked at me in his rearview mirror. “Giveret, what’s wrong? Did
you forget to say thank You to G-d today?”
I stared at his bare head and glittering
Chai necklace. What was he talking

22 JEWISH LIFE

ISSUE 79

about? “Do
you think
that today is just another day? Do you think He
made these beautiful mountains with this
sun setting into them for you to look out
the window and frown at the wonders of
the Creator? What happened?”
At first I was so surprised, I couldn’t
speak. But then I decided to tell him in
my halting Hebrew about my clients.
“I had a marriage like that too. We were
always fighting. I can’t even remember
what we used to fight about. But always
fighting. And Giveret, I will tell you why.
Because we didn’t know how to say thank
you. Not to G-d. Not to each other. I’m divorced three years now, but it didn’t have
to be this way.”
I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry,” I
finally answered.
This seemed to be the wrong response
because the driver began yelling. “No Giveret, don’t be sorry! It doesn’t help to be
sorry. Help them. Stop feeling sorry for
yourself and help them. Here, take this.”
The driver turned around and gave me
a tiny blue key chain that had the words
“Thank You” written on it in Hebrew.
“I can’t take this,” I said, trying to give
it back to him.
“Take it! Give it to them.”
“No, you don’t understand. A therapist

can’t give gifts to her clients. It doesn’t
work that way.”
But he waved his hand in protest as we
pulled up to the office building. “Remember what I said, Giveret. The Creator
doesn’t make mistakes. Don’t forget. Today is not just another day.”
Hesitantly, I slipped the keychain into
my pocket and braced myself for the coming session.
As soon as the couple sat down, they
started to argue. I wasn’t even sure that
they knew that I was there. After a few
minutes, I finally spoke up.
“I don’t understand a word you guys are
saying.”
The husband stopped yelling in midsentence as they turned to face me.
“Which part didn’t you understand?”
the wife asked.
“All of it. Since you walked into the office. I don’t even know what you’re arguing about.”
They stared at me in silence. I was so
embarrassed. The room began to feel like
it was closing in on me. Maybe I should
have kept quiet.

PHOTOGRAPH: BIGSTOCKPHOTO.COM

Chanukah is a special time for us to say
thanks for all the little and big
miracles in our lives
I BY SARA DEBBIE GUTFREUND