SERIES
PROJECT SHALOM
Personal growth means
GROWING AS PEOPLE
The journey inward can be the most difficult yet
rewarding trip we take
BY LEONARD CARR
DIETICIANS SPEAK OF PEOPLE WHO SUBSIST ON
processed foods and empty carbs as being
overfed and undernourished. We live in a
world where many people are psychologically overfed and undernourished. These
are people who have been materially and
emotionally over-indulged. Promiscuous
indulgence deprives children of the opportunity to experience the necessary hunger
that would spur them into maturation and
growth in character. This can be seen in
the growing epidemic of young adults who
lack motivation and direction. They have
been given everything on a silver platter
because their parents want to protect
them from the challenges and hardships
endured by previous generations.
Notwithstanding their privileged, protected existence, they are dissatisfied, cyni-
72 JEWISH LIFE ■ ISSUE 85
cal, demanding, and inert – waiting for life
to come and find them and make it all better without them even needing to show
up. They fritter away time on distractions
and mindless amusements, and express
deep resentment at being challenged,
called to account or forced to take responsibility. It seems likely this generation will
grow up to be selfish spouses and parents.
The children of parents who always put
themselves first will be challenged to try to
win their parents’ attention or to focus
such parents on the family and on meeting
the children’s needs.
For those whose children are still young,
there is an opportunity to strike the right
balance. Children have to be taught to work
on themselves. When it comes to personal
growth, the principle of the rich get richer
and the poor get poorer applies. Self-help
manuals and psychotherapy are most effective and yield the most dramatic results in
people who need them the least. Whether
we are talking about childrearing or about
what it takes to ‘raise yourself’ to become a
fully matured adult, the same principles apply. People who invest in their own growth
not only gain strength and capacity to deal
effectively in the area of issues on which
they have worked, but they also increase
their resilience, commitment, motivation
and skill to work on themselves.
Children need to be taught to look
deeper into themselves and others in order to fully understand the ramifications
of every situation that confronts them. In
choosing how to react, they need to take
the path of being bigger, wiser and more
PHOTOGRAPH: BIGSTOCKPHOTO.COM; PORTRAIT: SUPPLIED
THE FUNDAMENTAL
CHOICE FACING EVERY
PERSON IS WHETHER
TO BASE DECISIONS ON
WHAT IS CONVENIENT
AND SELF-SERVING OR
FOLLOW THE HARDER
PATH OF ETHICS,
EMPATHY AND
INTEGRITY.