GIVERS KNOW THEY CAN ONLY GAIN AND NEVER
LOSE BY GIVING. THEY UNDERSTAND THAT THE
WORLD IS A CLOSED ECOLOGY OF LOVE, GOODNESS,
MATERIAL AND EMOTIONAL RESOURCES.
reputation of another person, casting aspersions on her actions or intentions, undermining her credibility and neutralising
her in advance, lest she try to use the
same strategy in return. A person could
add strength to this approach by taking
another’s ideas or work and passing it off
as his own before that person can do so.
This is why people who are in the world to
take and maximise personal benefit cannot avoid being destructive, even when
they are ostensibly building something or
trying to achieve something that is for
the good.
As demonstrated in these examples,
people who are competitive or self-serving set themselves apart and in opposition to the world. By treating others as
though they are competitors for scarce resources, they render them a threat. This,
in turn, makes the people around this
person feel threatened. These people, in
turn, might treat the other person in
kind, becoming competitive or defensive,
until the entire dynamic becomes a vicious circle.
Those threatened may also respond by
siding with the one who looks like the potential winner. They would perceive this as
aligning with the safety of the stronger
team and simultaneously avoiding falling
victim to the same treatment. This is one
reason why people identify and support
the bully and turn their backs on the victim. This is also a reason that people become ingratiating sycophants. Another
possible response for people faced with the
threat of being disempowered or disenfranchised through being run down is to
protect themselves by doing the same
thing back to the person posing the threat.
People who are out for themselves, despite protestations to the contrary, cannot
build a community. One reason for this is
that their fundamental approach of being
out for themselves sets them at odds with
others. This approach, when others are
drawn into it, often becomes a more elaborate strategy of divide and conquer – factionalise the world into those who are with
you, the rest being part of the enemy. This
happens in families or classrooms where a
parent or teacher favours and sponsors a
particular child or group at the expense of
the others.
By their approach, takers fragment social groups and cause division between
people. Social cohesion and a sense of
community depend on exchange and
trade of material and emotional resources. In order for people to feel free and safe
to interact with each other they need to
have a sense of trust. Competition creates
distrust and the need to protect one’s resources by hiding or withholding them.
Through the resulting mistrust, the fabric
of society is eroded and, with it, the ability of the society to innovate, collaborate
and to ultimately thrive.
Giving achieves the exact opposite. Givers know they can only gain and never
lose by giving. They understand that the
world is a closed ecology of love, goodness, material and emotional resources.
What we take for the exclusive benefit of
ourselves and our own makes the world a
little poorer for everyone. The more we
give and invest in the well-being of others, the more we contribute to the quality
and richness of the very world of which
we are a part. The love, kindness, integrity, compassion, and mercy that we put
into the world actually make our world
richer in those qualities. When we take
care of the needs of others, especially
those closest to us, we give them a sense
of living in an abundant world. That
knowledge inspires and frees them to reciprocate by putting more of their goodness and talents into the world.
The most powerful tool for building the
world happens to be possessed by everyone and costs nothing monetarily to use:
the tongue. When used well, the power of
speech can become the greatest force for
creating goodness in the world. There is
no limit to the power of words in time
and space. Anything said can last indefinitely and spread until it has reached every corner of the globe. The tongue therefore has the power to foster harmony,
collaboration and peace. It is through
speech that we establish, maintain, deepen and grow relationships. In building relationships, we foster unity, and in so doing, strengthen the fabric of the society,
creating security and support for all those
in that society. Through the power of
speech we can boos Ёͽ