FEATURE
How do we make
Defining and teaching the most important
qualities that our children need to learn
I BY PAULA LEVIN
THE MISSION STATEMENT OF THE SCHOOL WAS
right on the banner, emblazoned for all to
see: “We strive to nurture graduates who
are menschen…” One mom gazed at these
words and felt inspired and impressed by
them, reflecting on how much fore-
thought it must have required to choose
this one attribute above all others, especially academic success. That mom was
doyenne of radio and TV, clinical psychologist Dorianne Weil, aka “Dr D” – and as
mother to twins Jemma and Dean, who
were then in primary school, the school’s
mission statement resonated deeply.
“My late husband Les was on the Board
of Education and every time we attended
meetings at the school or entered the offices, I was drawn to this bold statement.
I thought it was remarkable and applauded the board for choosing this quality and
its characteristics to nurture and develop.
Of course, cognitive intelligence is essential for achievement and success, but IQ is
a relatively static measure, and besides, as
Einstein said, ‘Not everything that counts
can be counted, and not everything that
can be counted counts.’ It’s significant to
note that among the top 10 most successful people on the planet today, there are
very few university degrees. IQ predicts
school grades relatively well, but predicts
only 6% of job success. It might get you in
the door, but it won’t keep you there.
Emotional intelligence, however, which
relates to the characteristics of being a
mensch, can be nurtured and improved
exponentially. According to Daniel Goldman, it is the sine qua non of leadership
and relates both to job success and fulfilment.”
The word mensch is used as a high compliment; it barely needs defining. Or does
it? It signifies noble character, someone
who always does the right thing, no matter what the temptations or stresses – a
person of integrity and honour; a person
who can be trusted. In addition, being a
mensch encompasses respect, compassion and being a contributing member of
society. But how does a child get there?
Says Dori, “Any child, whether from a loving home or a deprived background, will
sit, smile and walk at the same age. But
certain characteristics, if not nurtured,
will not develop on schedule like developmental milestones do. A three-year-old
will happily pull the legs of a beetle, yet a
six-year-old will cry when he sees a dog
CHILDREN LEARN IN THREE WAYS: BY
EXAMPLE, BY EXAMPLE, AND BY EXAMPLE.
42 JEWISH LIFE
ISSUE 86
PHOTOGRAPH: BIGSTOCKPHOTO.COM
A MENSCH?