THE MORE A PERSON ALLOWS HIMSELF TO VENT, THE
MORE HE ACTUALLY VENTS. THE MORE WE PRACTICE BEING
ANGRY, THE ANGRIER WE BECOME. TAMARA ASSNESS
more he actually vents. In the long term
this just feeds the anger and perpetuates
the cycle. In other words, the more we
practice being angry, the angrier we become. The adrenaline and cortisol changes
affect the body and can lead to heart and
other health problems.
So what’s the answer to the anger
quandary? It’s a human emotion and it
has a purpose. It’s a call to action. We all
feel angry sometimes and our anger
needs to be managed correctly and expressed constructively to generate positive changes. Firstly, when you’re angry,
in the moment, don’t say or do anything!
Drink some water, count or take some
deep breaths. Once you feel your anger
start to subside, you need to sit down and
try to use some logic. Write down the answers to the following questions. Why am
I angry? With whom? What actions can I
take? How can I heal this situation? Insights gained may motivate you to end a
toxic friendship or to stand up against
some sort of injustice. Try some physical
exercise to rid all the harmful chemicals
that have accumulated, and make some
time to practise a simple meditation or
mindfulness exercise. Picture a beautiful
calm lake and imagine yourself sitting
next to it. Take in the beautiful scenery.
Breathe it in deeply and fully. Eventually,
allow yourself to absorb and incorporate
the still, peaceful qualities of the lake
within you. Allow your thoughts to drift
to that lake any time you feel distressed
or start to feel angry in the future.
Feeling angry is not a choice, but how
you choose to react is entirely up to you. If
anger has controlled you in the past, some
self-regulation and discipline will help you
regain control over it. You’ll feel calmer,
happier and your relationships will improve. Channelled correctly, anger can be
a catalyst for positive change in our lives.
Email Tamara at [email protected]
48 JEWISH LIFE QISSUE 87
SARAH
STADLER
– counselling
psychologist,
practising in
Norwood and
Sandringham.
Anger is one of the
more challenging
emotions that we experience. Although it’s
often viewed in a negative light, it does not
need to be destructive, as long as it’s expressed appropriately. In fact, if used constructively, anger can provide a source of
energy, promote self-development, and be
used for building authentic, meaningful relationships. That said, for many, anger is a
disturbing emotion that is difficult to manage. The triggers of anger vary, but some
common ones include feeling physically
threatened, insulted, mistreated, or misunderstood. While these feelings are sometimes a response to a real threat, in which
case anger is important for self-preservation, sometimes we have certain issues of
our own which cause us to respond in anger. We then need to find ways to deal with
these issues.
It’s important to examine the meanings
we attribute to our own and other’s behaviour. Of [