Jávea Grapevine No.173 2015|
In Luke Kempner’s spot-on spoof,
‘The Only Way is Downton’, which
plays the Javea Players’ Studio
Theatre in Javea’s old town from
Monday January 12 to Friday January
16, cultures clash and eras hilariously
collide.
So much so that one of the celebrities
to turn up at the Abbey is the star of
the modern day popular television
programme, ‘Chatty Man’, Alan Carr.
The estate has run out of money.
Things are so desperate that the
Abbey is taking in paying guests.
Of course, one has to be a little bit
selective even if the wolf is at the door
and only those blessed with serious
money, are quite famous and well
connected are welcome – television
stars, top sportsmen, people with a bit
of spare cash to invest in climbing the
social ladder all the way to Downton.
Belts are being tightened – lobster
only every other day.
Staff are being positively encouraged
to participate in any venture that could
conceivably bring in a little cash.
To such end, Bates is planning to play
Andy Murray in a tennis tournament;
cook, Mrs Patmore and her assistant
Daisy are going to compete in the
Great British Bake-Off; Sarah O’Brien
and Thomas Barrow are going on
Pointless.
The Crawley family are making
sacrifices.
Violet, the Dowager Countess of
Grantham is, for the second time,
prepared to marry for money.
Mr Carr has arrived at the Abbey as
the Reverend Carr. Should it be that
he is going to officiate at the wedding
he should swat up with the structure
of the British aristocracy.
When he arrived he was heard to
exclaim, “What’s a dowager anyway?
I always thought it was a type of
duvet.”
Written and performed by Luke
Kempner, ‘The Only Way is Downton’
was a sell-out at the Edinburgh
Festival and when it moved to
London.
No, Mr
Carr, She Is
Not A Duvet
Luke has enjoyed rave reviews and
a very successful UK tour with his
brilliant parody of the world’s best
loved period drama.
Following its run – just five nights- at
the Javea Players’ Studio Theatre,
Luke will be taking his show to
America for a three month tour.
Mr Kempner brings a ‘cast’ of thirtytwo to the stage of the Javea Players’
Studio Theatre to tell his hilarious
version of Downton which will play
there from Monday January 12 to
Friday January 16.
Curtain-up each evening is at 8 pm.
Tickets are priced at 12 euros and
are available from the box office on
96 579 5390 and online at
[email protected]
Theatre-goers who wish to make
their evening extra special can
enjoy a pre-theatre dinner at the
La Cocina restaurant from 6pm.
Two courses 15 euros
Three 19 euros
When she married the Earl of
Grantham she brought her upper
class blood to the marriage but very
little money.
both options include a half-bottle of
wine.
This time, if she marries Tom Daley,
she is in danger of bringing no money
at all to the marriage.
96 579 5140
Reservations for Dinner
‘The Only
Way is
Downton’