was drinking. The next morning I
would hate myself. After my PM
shifts as a registered nurse, I would
go home and down a bottle or two of
strawberry wine to “unwind and
relax”.
My sister visited. She had changed
tremendously. I had to ask
questions. I scoffed and poked fun at
her, but underneath that tough
exterior I was thoughtful.
As soon as I put her on the plane, I
found myself at the Christian
bookstore, getting the book on Bible
prophesy she recommended.
Three weeks after reading the book,
my then husband and I went for a
walk in a nearby park. I was crying
but instead of release, the tears felt
muddy as they dribbled down my
face. Life was a tangled snarl and I
was even more tangled.
what I expected, but nothing "weird”
happened. I felt calm and peaceful,
like a huge boulder in a backpack was
lifted off my shoulders.
“Hey, JO, are you ok in there, you’ve
been in there an hour and a half
now?” questioned my husband.
It was then I realized I was sitting in a
bathtub filled with stone cold water.
But I felt free for the first time ever in
my life.
There was a born again nurse’s aide
at work. I spoke with her a lot. I
began to read the Bible. I still had so
many questions: How did I know this
was really the literal Word of God?
How could I believe every word?
What were just “good stories” and
what was real?
It wasn’t just the drinking. I was also
entangled in transcendental
meditation and tarot cards; and even
heavier so, in astrology.
Later that day, as I was taking a bath
and getting ready for work, I found
myself talking out loud to God, IF he
was there. I needed help.
“I’ve made a wreck of my life. If
you're there, I need you to forgive
me and to have you take over...” This
went on for some time. I’m not sure
JASMINE'S PLACE
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