Jasmine's Place Issue No. 11 - May/June 2014 - Page 24

but if we start out with accusation, then we’re going to create a situation where our spouse is going to point the finger back. But if we start by saying, “I’m really worried because I really love you and I might be wrong about all this”, We need to pretty sure of what we’re talking about, if we’re bringing up something that we think is really serious, but yes, it’s how we do it – where we do it. We have to start with facing the truth. And one of the things I think we’re very good at doing is saying “that’s over now, let’s move on, forget about it, that was difficult, but fresh day, fresh chapter” granted? If it’s a woman, am I still making myself look wonderful for my husband? PCR: Applies to men as well. PCR: I can imagine it can be very distressing if you love your spouse dearly, and they seem slightly disinterested in you. How do you deal with this? JN: I’ve seen it many times before. Men whose wives just seem disconnected or wives who are becoming just like a best friend rather than a wife. And a wife is more than a best friend. Equally, I’ve seen wives who have been crippled by the pain and sadness of a husband who is drifting away. First, I think we’ve got to have faith for our marriages. The Bible is so clear about God being a God who answers prayer – it says He who promised is faithful – go to God in prayer – not everyone on earth is faithful, but God is faithful, so the first thing we need to do is to go to God in prayer - knowing that God is able to turn a situation around. But also, I think we can look at ourselves and ask “am I in any way treating this marriage or taking it for JN: Yes, that’s true. But men are more visual and women respond more to words. So, if you’ve got a wife who’s becoming disinterested, then my question to the husband will be – how are you treating your wife, what are you saying to her? When was the last time you took her out on a date? When was the last time you held her hands as you talked to her and showed her the kind of affection you had when you were dating? With a woman, making sure you look your best is [\ܝ[ ۙHوB[H\^Z[^H\ؘ[X[K\HY[HX[\YBY&]ۛXۙHو^B]ܘHو\[Y\HZ\ˈHZY[H8'Y[[\H\[Y\'KBYH\XY ]^H]8&\™[KHYYX\[\˜\[ HYYH[^Y\BYYYHx&\HXX[›\\ؘ[[]\[HYYܙX]H[YH܈[[XXKX[K܈[TRSIPB