but if we start out with accusation , then we ’ re going to create a situation where our spouse is going to point the finger back . But if we start by saying , “ I ’ m really worried because I really love you and I might be wrong about all this ”, We need to pretty sure of what we ’ re talking about , if we ’ re bringing up something that we think is really serious , but yes , it ’ s how we do it – where we do it .
PCR : I can imagine it can be very distressing if you love your spouse dearly , and they seem slightly disinterested in you . How do you deal with this ?
JN : I ’ ve seen it many times before . Men whose wives just seem disconnected or wives who are becoming just like a best friend rather than a wife . And a wife is more than a best friend . Equally , I ’ ve seen wives who have been crippled by the pain and sadness of a husband who is drifting away . First , I think we ’ ve got to have faith for our marriages . The Bible is so clear about God being a God who answers prayer – it says He who promised is faithful – go to God in prayer – not everyone on earth is faithful , but God is faithful , so the first thing we need to do is to go to God in prayer - knowing that God is able to turn a situation around .
But also , I think we can look at ourselves and ask “ am I in any way treating this marriage or taking it for
We have to start with facing the truth . And one of the things I think we ’ re very good at doing is saying “ that ’ s over now , let ’ s move on , forget about it , that was difficult , but fresh day , fresh chapter ”
granted ? If it ’ s a woman , am I still making myself look wonderful for my husband ?
PCR : Applies to men as well .
JN : Yes , that ’ s true . But men are more visual and women respond more to words . So , if you ’ ve got a wife who ’ s becoming disinterested , then my question to the husband will be – how are you treating your wife , what are you saying to her ?
When was the last time you took her out on a date ? When was the last time you held her hands as you talked to her and showed her the kind of affection you had when you were dating ?
With a woman , making sure you look your best is important . One of the things I was saying to my husband recently , was I suddenly realised I didn ’ t know which one of my plethora of perfumes he likes . I said to him “ smell all these perfumes ”, he thought I was mad , but hey that ’ s fine . So we need to check ourselves as well , we need to be in prayer , we need to see how we ’ re reacting to our husbands and wives and we need to create time for intimacy , romance , for fun .
JASMINE ' S PLACE
24