FASHION, HEALTH & BEAUTY
abandoned and unloved by their partner.
In response to the new “competition” from
the baby, fathers may start looking for
escape routes. They may spend a lot of time
engaged in a new hobby, work excessively
long hours, or resort to drinking alcohol.
Try not to fall into this trap. Talk things
out with your partner and seek relationship
counselling if necessary. If you find yourself
feeling anxious, hopeless, or having
difficulty concentrating, consider that you
might have some sort of depression, and
seek medical help.
Concern about being a good
father
Raising a baby can be scary. You may feel
unsure about your abilities to care for your
newborn baby. But there are many tips that
you can take to heart in order to ensure that
you are the best father you can be. First,
ask the hospital nurses to show you how to
change, swaddle, and bathe your newborn
baby. Make sure you leave the hospital
knowing how to handle these activities.
When you, your partner, and your newborn
baby are settled at home, remember to
practice, practice, practice. Change those
nappys, comfort your baby, and trust your
instincts. Make eye contact with your
newborn baby when playing with her. Relax
and enjoy your new baby. Play with and sing
to her.
Sometimes people can come in
the way of your spending time
with your newborn baby.
Your partner or mother-in-law might not
think you are capable of doing things
properly. Your boss may expect you to
continue putting in 60-hour weeks. If
you have an old-fashioned father, he may
somehow look down on you for changing
nappys and helping in other ways. Stand
your ground and make sure no one pushes
you away from your newborn baby. Explain
to your partner that you need to spend time
alone with your baby; it is the best way to
get to know your little one. Yes, you may
do things differently from your partner, but
that’s OK. When left to your own devices,
you will quickly learn how to soothe and
care for your newborn baby.
Concern about your relationship
with your partner
Your relationship with your partner may
start to suffer in these early weeks, because
you no longer have time to spend with each
life
other alone. The focus is entirely on your
newborn baby now, and you barely have
time to sleep. Try to spend even just a few
minutes alone with your partner, talking
about something other than your baby.
Above all, be careful about your
expectations from your partner. After a hard
day’s work, you may want dinner to be made
and the house cleaned for the time you get
home. However, things rarely work out that
way when a baby arrives.
Taking care of a newborn baby is serious
work, as you no doubt will find out if you
make time to spend with your baby alone.
When you arrive home from work, try
asking your partner about her day, and offer
to take care of your baby so she can have a
break.
a joint responsibility, it is often the father
who has to make tough decisions about
financial priorities. This can lead to stress
and conflicts in the marriage, as well as
depression in some fathers.
However, there are many ways to save
money when you have a little one, such
as accepting hand-me-downs from friends
and family, encouraging your partner to
breastfeed instead of bottle feeding, and
letting people know what items you do need
for your newborn baby.
If you feel that financial difficulties are
causing undue strain on your relationship
with your partner, seek the advice of a
marriage or relationship counsellor. If your
problems with finances are causing you to
feel depressed, seek medical help.
Concern about lifestyle changes
Staying at home with your
newborn baby
Men sometimes worry about the lifestyle
changes they will have to make when the
baby comes along. You will need to get
a little creative when it comes to social
activities. Instead of going to the movies,
you may need to start renting DVDs. Instead
of romantic dinners for two, you and partner
will gravitate toward family restaurants
where you will feel comfortable if you bring
your baby along.
You may also find yourself drifting away
from your friends who don’t have children,
and making new friends with people who
understand what you are going through.
Concern about finances
Fathers often worry what kind of financial
impact the new baby will have on their
lives. Many fathers lose sleep over whether
they can afford to take care of a baby. This
is a legitimate fear and yes, a new baby will
make a financial dent.
Expenses add up very quickly when you
have a new baby. If you were previously a
two-income family,
the financial strain
of raising a baby
on one income can
be amplified. Many
times, the mother’s
attention becomes
solely focused on
the newborn baby,
which leaves the
father to worry
about finances by
himself.
Although the
family finances are
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Many families decide to have one parent
stay at home, and usually the mother takes
on that role. However, sometimes that
arrangement won’t work. Maybe your
partner makes more money or has a steadier
job. Maybe she is just not interested in
staying home. The number of stay-at-home
fathers is rising every year. However, many
stay-at-home fathers feel isolated, and
sometimes women who stay home are not
very welcoming to the stay-at-home father.
Search out resources on the Internet and in
print, which can help ease any feelings of
isolation. If you do decide to stay home to
raise your newborn baby, you will have a
wonderful opportunity to get to know your
child, and you will give your partner peace
of mind at the same time.
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