I could go on and on with how he helped me and gave me feedback . The one I want to mention is one of those great pieces of advice many of us need to learn . He taught me that it is ok to say “ no ”. That sounds really simple . It wasn ’ t for me . I am a giver and I said “ yes ” to everything and sometimes mentally kicked myself afterwards . Over the years my self-confidence was boosted because he thought the world of me , cared about my ideas and that elevated me above where I might have been otherwise . I knew he was looking out for me . To this day I can ’ t guess how many opportunities crossed my path because of him . I am eternally grateful for all my mentor has , and continues , to do for me .
I have been a mentor to many . Some of that mentoring was formal but most informal . The formal kinds have come when I would receive a call and I would be asked to mentor the person at the other end . I have always liked to be asked to the dance so I was thrilled to be singled out like that . What would go through my mind would be that someone thought enough of me to want my advice and guidance . I was thrilled . Often , being a mentor meant more to me than the mentored .
When I look back , at my business career and my life , I realize how many things have changed . We all could write a book , the size of “ War and Peace ”, on just the new technology stuff that was never thought of when I was born . Part of what has changed is jargon . When I was in college the term “ significant other ” meant someone who ’ s opinion of you was important to you . While that term has taken on a different meaning over the years it still applies when considering the term “ mentor ”. For a person to actually be a mentor that person ’ s opinion of the mentored must be important . In other words , the mentored must want the mentor to like and respect him / her . A mentor then is someone who you want to think highly of you and who is willing to freely give you feedback as to your thoughts , dreams and aspirations .
Virtually all successful people , no matter what their field of endeavor , have , at some point in their lives , had a mentor . I have been fortunate . Because I teach for IREM I have been an informal mentor to the thousands that have been students in the classes I have taught . I have gotten so much out of those relationships . I hear , from many students , asking my advice at different levels of their career . The continued communication , years after the class ended , means a lot to me . I am thrilled that I was able to help , in a small part , that individual .
If you don ’ t know it , the IREM national website ( www . irem . org ) is also a mentor , if an inanimate object can be a mentor . On the IREM website are a lot of tutorials , webinars , forms and a list of best practices . In addition to IREM , social media ( Facebook , LinkedIn , Twitter , etc .), is a sort of mentor . Since we know what we post say who we are , we don ’ t want to be purported the wrong way by saying something inappropriate .
By the way , that night , in November , I was also given my 40-year pin as a CPM . That makes me officially old , even if I did become a CPM when I was 10 ! My point is , age is not part of being a mentor . It has nothing to do with when we can be a mentor . We need to all lead by example and that happens at any age .
A mentor can be almost anyone , an older person , a friend , a relative , a parent , a boss , a teacher , or a co-worker , anyone whose opinion you value and whose opinion of you is important to you . A mentor is someone you can “ bounce things off ” and who will honestly take the time to listen and respond .
I suggest you should be continually on the lookout for others , often older people , who have “ been there , done that ” and are willing to give honest advice on how to proceed . Very few , if any , successful business leaders have gotten where they are without someone being , as Bette Midler might say , “ The Wind Beneath My Wings ”. A good mentor can be found in the background of all those who have made it .
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