Invenio: Coaching and Mentoring March 2016 - Page 21

Saying ‘yes’ may seem like the simplest solution for these reasons, but often it is not your best answer. You have 1,440 minutes in a day or 10,080 minutes in a week and each time you say ‘yes’ to something, you

Saying 'NO'!...

To most people I know, saying ‘no’ is the most difficult thing in the world to do. It’s normally because when you say ‘no’ you feel as though are hurting someone else, or leaving them in the lurch, or disappointing them, or maybe even feel as though you are jeopardising your relationship with them. Whatever it is, it means that you are thinking of them before you are thinking about yourself.

something, you are saying ‘no’ to something else. Even when you are saying ‘yes’ to something that you really want to do, you are saying ‘no’ to something else.

As coaches and mentors, each one of us works with clients who have to find that way to say ‘no’. I learnt how to do this the hard way. I started my own business in 2000 and because, as a lot of small business owners will know, I said yes to a lot of business opportunities. They all seemed fabulous. They all seemed that they were a right fit for my business. They all seemed to be the diversity I needed to bring in a regular stream of income. Some were and some weren’t!

It took me about 8 years to realise that I had to learn how to stop doing this. Eight hard and long years, when I was being pulled in multiple directions by multiple people, all of whom had their own agendas and none of who had my agenda.

I remember sitting on a beach in Madeira meditating about my business. Personally I was going through a not so great time. I had left my husband. I had left the home I had just spent 2 years working with builders to rebuild. I was living in a rented studio apartment. I was in the middle of a divorce process. In all the stress of what had been going on, I had let my business go. I stopped working at it. Here I was sitting on the beach just letting the waves wash words over me. I was letting my mind drift. I became aware of the word ‘NO’! It seemed to be repeating itself over and over and over and over and over again. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

No to what? As I had driven down to the beach I had been thinking about restarting my business. I had been thinking about all the clients I had, the projects I had been working on, the colleagues I had partnerships with, and trying to work out how to start it all again.

NO! had been to starting it all again. NO! had been about going back down the same path. NO! had been saying ‘yes’ to things I didn’t really want to be doing.

I got back into my studio apartment and picked up a blank pad of paper, several coloured pens, and walked out onto the balcony. I could still hear the waves. I started to write down in two formats the words I could hear in the waves. The first was just in a list format and the second was in more of a mind mapping format. A mind map is simple a doodle in the form of a diagram that allows you to connect words in a visual format.

Learn to say 'no' to the good so you can say 'yes' to the best.

John C. Maxwell

by Barbara J. Cormack...

19