Invenio: Coaching and Mentoring April 2016 - Growth - Page 17

question, without going into any potential obstacles to your dream. If any obstacles, doubts or negative self-talk comes up, my invitation to you is to write it down and deal with it once you have gone through the rest of the process.

3. Dreams are not clearly linked to what is important to you in life

Often our dreams (or goals for that matter) do not motivate us as much as we expect them to, they don’t feel quite right or they do not quite make sense to us. The two key reasons usually are:

- we are conflicted due to limiting belief (see my blog article on obstacle strategy) and are sabotaging ourselves along the way.

- we do not have the ‘goal beyond the goal’, i.e. we have not connected the dream to what is ultimately important to us. And often when we make that connection, the dream can change into something that more real and feels more motivating to us.

So, when you think about your dream or what you want, ask yourself:  Why is that important to me? What does that give me?

I invite you to write down  your answers, and for every answer ask the questions again, write down your answers and ask the questions again, and do this about three to five times.

My key tip would be to do a short meditation before you ask yourself those questions, and just let your answers flow.Once you have completed the exercise, review your dream in light of your answers, and check if there are any changes you need to make to your dream, what has happened to any obstacles identified in the previous step and what other options to fulfill your higher values opened up for you.

4. Not knowing the ‘how’ stops you from taking the next step

Many people believe that they need to know ‘how’ to achieve their dreams before they can take action. It is one of the main reasons why people don’t realise their dreams.

If you are grappling with the ‘how’ question, my invitation to you is twofold:

- Ask yourself: what resources (and that includes your skills, capabilities, friends, family etc.)  do have that will help me to realise my dream? And what resources do I believe I need at this point to take the next step? Focussing on the entire dream is often too much too soon. When we focus on the first step, and then the next, and the next, we are able to develop the ‘how’ at a pace that works for us.

- Share your dream with others. Often what happens is that even if we do not have the skills or knowledge how to achieve our dreams, someone else might or they might know someone who has done it.

5. Taking action is key

Part of making a dream real and focussing our minds on achieving our dreams is to set a deadline or a target date, that is realistic. Even if you are not able to set a deadline for  your overall  dream at this moment, you can always identify the first step, no matter how small it is.

As Diana Sharf Hunt has said: “Goals are dreams with deadlines”. A date will bring an extra degree of focus and urgency.

I invite you allow yourself to put a stake in ground and name your first step, one that you can take by the end of next week and commit to doing it.

As human beings we are designed to have dreams, goals and ambitions and to follow those dreams. If that was not the case, we would still be living in caves. So, if you are not already dreaming and pursuing your dreams, start dreaming and …

Go for your dreams!



Bettina Pickering

AMC, AMM is your Leadership and Emotion Coach, Trainer and Mentor; published in one co-authoring book so far, with at least two

more on way. Through her personal journey and her work with executive clients globally she knows that when you show up as a leader in your own life, your dreams do become reality.