Invenio: Coaching and Mentoring April 2016 - Growth - Page 15


What is a dream? According to the Oxford English dictionary one definition is: “A vision of the imagination indulged in when awake, one prompted by desire, hope or ambition“.

Most of us are conditioned to be practical and put other people’s needs and wants before ours.

‘Indulging’ in dreaming or pursuing our dreams often feels like wasted time. Particularly women have been culturally conditioned to believe that some of our dreams cannot become reality, or we feel we do not have what it takes (time, skills etc.).

Denying ourselves our dreams or putting the pursuit of our dreams last on the priority list, often leaves us feeling frustrated, not good enough and/or stressed.

There are 5 common pitfalls that I found many people encounter in the pursuit of their dreams.

1. Focussing on what you  don’t  want, and not what you do want

When going on a journey, no one would ever say,  “I do not want to go to France, Italy, US etc” when they really wanted to go to e.g. Spain. Normally we would even specify which town in Spain we would like to go, wouldn’t we?

Unfortunately a lot of people tend to do exactly that with their dreams. They think about what they don’t want about their current life, instead of what they want in their future life.

As a result, they tend to get more of the same of what they have now.

Have you ever noticed that when you focus on a certain topic that all of a sudden you spot

it everywhere and lots of related bits of information or opportunities come your way?

That is exactly how it works with dreams, too.

So put your focus on what you want, and you are likely to get it.

Ask yourself the question: What specifically do I want?

Make sure whatever it is that you want, it is stated positively.

Our mind is configured to process only positives, i.e. if I am now asking you to not think of a pink and green striped elephant, what are you are thinking of?

If by any chance, you come up with negatives i.e. what you don’t want, be playful and turn it into a positive and affirmative statement. It might take a little and it is very worth it.

2. Dreams are too vague – make them real to you and as specific as you can!

Studies have shown, and this is also borne out by  my coaching and consulting  work, that we do need to know the ‘what’ of our dream(s) (in a business setting, a dream is usually called a vision), and we need to know it in some detail to make it real and allow us to recognise any opportunities that take us closer to achieving our dream along the way.

The key question to ask yourself here is:  What am I seeing, hearing, feeling or saying to myself when I have achieved my dream?

A key tip is to just focus on answering the question, without going into any potential obstacles to

your dream.

5 reasons why people give up on their dreams, and how to overcome them

Bettina Pickering AMC AMM