International Tutors' Magazine April 2019 | Page 10

INTERNATIONAL TUTORS’ MAGAZINE
THE FOUNTAIN PEN
BY CHARLENE LEE
“Speak now, or forever hold your peace,” says the priest. A sentence that holds such
power, establishing an illusion of democracy in the room. Telling people attending that
they have the power to stop this from happening. But who dares to oppose such a sacred
ceremony? A ceremony that bonds two persons, two families into one. As the wedding
ends, she will have to abandon her maiden name and become just some Mrs. Hale or
Mrs. Smith, living her life forever marked as someone’s wife, rather than an individual.
That sentence is just empty words, a kind gesture, like a greeting. No one expects a
response from it! Here I am. Standing in front of an audience, a man I barely know
holding my hands, a small, silver diamond ring chained on my left ring finger. I have an
urge to swing my hands away from the man, to raise it up and shout, “I object!”, to run
away from the scene and never look back. I imagine running away to a foreign land and
becoming myself again. I can pursue my dream of being a writer. I imagine my fountain
pen sitting in my room, waiting for me to come back to it. It will never again be able
to write thousands and thousands of words and create worlds that are not real. It will
never become the pen that writes my best-selling novel, or the poetry that inspires a new
generation of writers after me. This is my fate. I hold my peace.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” I feel disgust and pain, like a knife slowly
piercing my heart. I can’t scream or cry, only accept it and let it be. If getting married
means my little brothers and sisters get to have a decent life and have the chance to be
what they want to be, I guess this is worth it, even if my own life is over.
* * * * *
I remember the day my mother told me.
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