INSPADES MAGAZINE UNO | Page 9

desired surgeries, until the old chief of surgery scoffs at her unimaginative and uninspired list, and implores her to seek out “heart in a box”, a heart that has been removed from a donor and is being kept alive at the hospital until it is picked up to be taken to the recipient. She spends the better part of the episode staring at the “heart in a box”, oblivious as to how it is supposed to help her. Now, the usual process of a heart transplant requires taking the organ out of the donor, placing it on ice, transporting it, placing into the recipient’s body, then waiting for the cold, dead heart to warm up and come back to life. However, in this case, they have used a portable heart perfusion system, a machine that keeps the heart alive by mechanically moving warm blood through it and monitoring it, while it sits in a protective clear enclosure—in other words, a heart in a box. The unique thing about it is that, even though it is between bodies, the heart never stops living. As Yang aptly puts it, “It’s a friggin miracle.” The reason I am regaling you with my midnight brain fodder, is because at least a dozen times a day I think, am I following my highest excitement, to the best of my ability, right now? The answer, often, is no, no I’m not. Not because I have some detestable or helpless life in which I couldn’t possibly, but because I simply get caught up in routine of things or the busyness of things, and forget. I forget to be excited, can you believe that? Of course you can, because we both know you do it too. © Mary Grace Dela Peña @nini29dk 9 inspadesmag.com