insideKENT Magazine Issue 34 - January 2015 | Page 133

LAW COLLABORATE FOR A SMOOTHER SEPARATION BY IAN PRISTON Taking the step towards ending a marriage or relationship is a difficult decision that no-one takes lightly. Sometimes it can be a good idea to seek counselling first. But what should you do if you know that there is no turning back? “When people see me they have invariably already made the decision to separate or get a divorce, and started discussing it with their partner,” explains Jonathan da Costa, a mediator and collaborative lawyer at Boys & Maughan Solicitors. “Concerns about the arrangements for their children and the family finances are usually top of people’s minds, and they are also worried about a long drawn out process which lacks compassion and which is going to be expensive.” Many people Jonathan meets are unaware of the variety of options for their separation and assume there is little alternative other than confrontation in court. “It doesn’t really come as surprise as there is no real need to know about divorce until you are going through a break-up yourself,” he says. But there are some alternatives. One of them is a process known as collaborative and it is popular amongst couples who are seeking to sort out their problems constructively and flexibly with a view to achieving lasting agreements. Each of you appoints your own lawyer and discussions take place over a series of four-way meetings, usually at either solicitor’s office. There is no need to ever go to a court. “The collaborative process is increasingly recognised as the best way of resolving issues,” says Jonathan. “It allows couples to talk through the points together, work out solutions that are right for them and their family, with professional support. The process is about them and working out an agreement. It gives the couple the ability to control what is discussed and when, and exercise significant control over costs.” “It is an inescapable fact that whichever way you look at divorce you are bound to continue to feel a sense of sadness. Some clients are anxious about being in the same room as their ex but after a few collaborative sessions things often improve. It is far better than sitting in a courtroom together. “Collaborative lawyers focus on minimising confrontation and helping couples put their differences aside so they can find lasting solutions in the long-term interests of all of the family. When things go well, which they often do, special times of the year like birthdays can continue to be enjoyable even after separation. “The important thing is to reach an agreement that you are both comfortable with and that is much more likely to happen by working collaboratively than not,” continues Jonathan. “Once you’ve reached an understanding, it’s then far easier – and therefore quicker and cheaper – to draw up a legally binding agreement.” Having concluded that an amicable agreement is the best way forward what should you do first? “The best place to start is by looking at the website for Resolution. This gives details of how the collaborative process works and where you 133 can find a trusted lawyer near you. Whatever approach you choose I recommend talking to a professional,” concludes Jonathan. Jonathan da Costa is a Partner at Boys & Maughan Solicitors which has branches in Broadstairs, Canterbury, Margate, Birchington and Ramsgate. The Law Society recently selected Jonathan for a national advertising campaign highlighting his best practice approach to divorce and separation. You can view the film that was made at www.boysandmaughan.co.uk/site/people/jdc Jonathan can be contacted by email at [email protected] or by telephone on 01843 234010.