insideKENT Magazine Issue 34 - January 2015 | Page 133
LAW
COLLABORATE FOR
A SMOOTHER SEPARATION
BY IAN PRISTON
Taking the step towards ending a marriage or relationship is a difficult decision
that no-one takes lightly. Sometimes it can be a good idea to seek counselling
first. But what should you do if you know that there is no turning back?
“When people see me they have invariably already
made the decision to separate or get a divorce,
and started discussing it with their partner,”
explains Jonathan da Costa, a mediator and
collaborative lawyer at Boys & Maughan Solicitors.
“Concerns about the arrangements for their
children and the family finances are usually top
of people’s minds, and they are also worried
about a long drawn out process which lacks
compassion and which is going to be expensive.”
Many people Jonathan meets are unaware of
the variety of options for their separation and
assume there is little alternative other than
confrontation in court. “It doesn’t really come as
surprise as there is no real need to know about
divorce until you are going through a break-up
yourself,” he says.
But there are some alternatives. One of them is
a process known as collaborative and it is popular
amongst couples who are seeking to sort out
their problems constructively and flexibly with a
view to achieving lasting agreements. Each of
you appoints your own lawyer and discussions
take place over a series of four-way meetings,
usually at either solicitor’s office. There is no need
to ever go to a court.
“The collaborative process is increasingly
recognised as the best way of resolving issues,”
says Jonathan. “It allows couples to talk through
the points together, work out solutions that are
right for them and their family, with professional
support. The process is about them and working
out an agreement. It gives the couple the ability
to control what is discussed and when, and
exercise significant control over costs.”
“It is an inescapable fact that whichever way you
look at divorce you are bound to continue to feel
a sense of sadness. Some clients are anxious
about being in the same room as their ex but
after a few collaborative sessions things often
improve. It is far better than sitting in a courtroom
together.
“Collaborative lawyers focus on minimising
confrontation and helping couples put their
differences aside so they can find lasting solutions
in the long-term interests of all of the family. When
things go well, which they often do, special times
of the year like birthdays can continue to be
enjoyable even after separation.
“The important thing is to reach an agreement
that you are both comfortable with and that is
much more likely to happen by working
collaboratively than not,” continues Jonathan.
“Once you’ve reached an understanding, it’s then
far easier – and therefore quicker and cheaper
– to draw up a legally binding agreement.”
Having concluded that an amicable agreement
is the best way forward what should you do first?
“The best place to start is by looking at the
website for Resolution. This gives details of how
the collaborative process works and where you
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can find a trusted lawyer near you. Whatever
approach you choose I recommend talking to a
professional,” concludes Jonathan.
Jonathan da Costa is a Partner at Boys &
Maughan Solicitors which has branches in
Broadstairs, Canterbury, Margate, Birchington
and Ramsgate.
The Law Society recently selected Jonathan
for a national advertising campaign highlighting
his best practice approach to divorce and
separation. You can view the film that was
made at
www.boysandmaughan.co.uk/site/people/jdc
Jonathan can be contacted by email at
[email protected] or by telephone
on 01843 234010.