insideKENT Magazine Issue 79 - October 2018 | Page 168

CHARITY
Kent Charity Profile:
THE BEREAVEMENT CAFÉ
BEREAVEMENT IS SOMETHING THAT WILL AFFECT US ALL AT SOME POINT, AND WE
WILL ALL REACT TO IT IN DIFFERENT WAYS. SOMETHING THAT IS COMMON TO ALL,
HOWEVER, IS THE NEED TO DEAL WITH THE GRIEF WE ARE FEELING SO THAT IT DOESN’T
OVERWHELM US. FOR SOME, THIS MEANS TALKING THROUGH THE PAIN WITH SOMEONE
WHO UNDERSTANDS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH. AT THE BEREAVEMENT
CAFÉ, BASED IN ORPINGTON, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS.
What is it that The Bereavement
Café does?
The Bereavement Café is a once
a month pop up café that offers
support to those who are
suffering from grief. During the
two hours we are open each
month, we provide qualified
counsellors and good listeners
to those wanting to come and
talk about their loved ones. It may
be that just talking to someone
helps them come to terms with
their loss, or perhaps they are
needing some professional
support in how they can work
through their grief.
We also try to find help in other
ways. Just recently, a lady came
to us as she was struggling with
the death of her daughter. As a
result, she had taken on her
grandchild, and was unaware of
all the legalities that went with
becoming a main carer. One of
our volunteers was a social
worker, and was able to help her
with many questions, advice and
support, at what was such a
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difficult time for her. Sometimes,
it is just advice that is needed, and
where we can help, we will.
Why is the work that
The Bereavement Café does
so important?
It is important to offer this as
funding in our area (Orpington)
was stopped a few years ago.
There are waiting lists, but grief
needs to be dealt with as soon as
it occurs. Some feel that talking
things through really helps them,
and rather than burden family
members or friends they can talk
openly to one of our counsellors,
and know that that is what they
are there for.
What happens during a meeting
at The Bereavement Café?
We set up the café so that there
is an area for some who like to
chat amongst themselves, and
perhaps meet others who are in
the same position as them, but
there is also privacy for those who
require it. Our tables are set far
enough apart that
conversations can’t
be overheard, and we
always provide tea,
coffee and biscuits, as
well as plenty of
tissues and support.
What is the charity’s
history?
Working as a funeral
celebrant, Michelle
The Bereavement Café family
Harvey felt that the
families she worked with were in need of additional support once the
funeral service was over. Michelle found it hard to walk away, so kept
in touch with many of her families afterwards. This was with either a
phone call or an email, just to check they were okay, and not struggling.
After the funeral was the crucial time, when families have had the focus
of the funeral, and afterwards, they have to try and adjust to life without
their loved ones.
So with the help and support of Valentine and Turner Funeral Directors,
they provided a monthly place for people to go, and talk, specifically
about their loss, and how they were feeling. November 2017 saw the
first Bereavement Café, and with a handful of volunteers, plus qualified
counsellors, they opened their doors, and it was a success from the
beginning.
Gradually, people heard about the café, and came along. Some didn’t
know what to expect, but all are greeted with a friendly smile, a cup of