insideKENT Magazine Issue 83 - February 2019 | Page 87

9. Build the tension
Remember what it was like to flirt? Yeah you, the
flirter over there. Once upon a time you put effort
into wooing your partner. The inner flirt is there
within you already, it’s just hidden amongst years
of security and stability. Remember when the best
way to feel sexy, was to not have sex? When it was
about the build-up and the tension? Why not start
trying to get a little flirty again. Tell your partner
what turns you on before you go to work in the
morning and have them thinking about it all day.
Send naughty messages. Whatever floats your flirty
boat, give it a go again.
emotion you felt at that wedding, you can taste the
mulled spices in that wine at Christmas. Make a
memory book with some of the photos and mementos
of your relationship together, and make a point of
looking through them together when you feel like
you need to reconnect. You’ll find yourself laughing
over that hilarious thing that happened that time,
and feeling all warm and fuzzy when you see
yourselves young and in love.
There you have it – our top 10 tips. But wait!
We’re not done yet. We have a very important one
for luck…
11. Stop comparing
10. Take regular trips down memory lane
Nostalgia is a powerful thing. Looking at a photo,
watching a video or listening to music can conjuring
up memories that have us feeling all kinds of things.
Somehow you can smell the perfume you were
wearing on that holiday, you can feel the flood of
We live in a world of universal comparison right
now. With one click of a button, you can look at a
whole timeline of someone’s life – where they’re
going, what they’re doing, what big milestone they’ve
just reached. But always remember that social media
only shows you a highlight reel – the very best
moments – not the everyday realities.
We all follow someone (usually lots of someones) on
social media who presents their life like it's utter
perfection. You see extravagant holidays, 5-star
dinner dates, posh social engagements, dream jobs,
well-behaved kids and designer wardrobes. You
won’t see the mundanity of night after night sitting
in front of the telly, eating beans on toast, fighting
over whose turn it is to take out the bins, bickering
about why there’s unfolded laundry left in the dining
room, dealing with a drunk partner at 3am, the
screaming baby, the constant money worry.
It’s easy to get sucked in and wonder what you’re
doing wrong in your relationship, but always
remember what’s behind those social media accounts.
Don’t look at other relationships and judge yours in
comparison – it’ll only be detrimental to your own.
Stop comparing your relationship, and start
improving your own, your own way.
87