insideKENT Magazine Issue 66 - September 2017 | Page 152

ONLINE COURSES ENROL TODAY! Its all about studying in a way that suits you. Full Time/Part Time/Flexi-Time! Study & Succeed with us at the Academy for Distance Learning. ADLonlinecourses.com Contact us at [email protected] or 01227 789649 MINIMISING THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN 1741-Halloween-2017-91x133-Inside-Kent-&-Index-AW.indd 1 17/08/2017 13:59 WHEN MUM AND DAD ARE THE CENTRE OF YOUR WORLD, DIVORCE CHANGES EVERYTHING. THAT’S WHY IT’S SO IMPORTANT TO PUT YOUR CHILDREN’S WELLBEING FIRST WHEN SEPARATING FROM YOUR SPOUSE. Of course, divorce is no walk in the park for anyone, but it can be a true earthquake to children. Suddenly Mum or Dad is no longer sitting on the other side of the dining room table. Research clearly links the approach taken by parents to divorce with the risk of behavioural problems in their children: the better behaved the parents, the better behaved the children! Relationships are complicated and younger children may find it very difficult to grasp what has happened. Some blame themselves for the split or wonder if either parent still loves them. If you find yourself facing a painful divorce, reassure your children and give them plenty of attention. Help them to maintain a relationship with the now absent parent; even if that person doesn’t make it easy for you, is distracted by other priorities or a new life and has a very different view of the ways things should be done. Relationship experts advise divorcing parents to keep emotional drama and disruption to a minimum, and not to row with each other in front of the children, no matter how angry or hurt they may feel. The other parent, after all is part of your child’s life and that will never change. Criticise that parent or shout at them in front of your child and you are in effect attacking them too. 152 If, despite your best efforts, you cannot agree what is in the best interests of your children, you may need to consider taking legal advice. A solicitor can advise you about your options and the best way to resolve matters. That might be by writing to your former partner, attending mediation or application to the court, and there is no reason why this process needs to be difficult or confrontational. In many cases, an amicable agreement can be reached which benefits both parties and, most importantly, the children. Stowe Family Law is the specialist largest family law firm in the UK. They now operate 12 offices around the country, including four Yorkshire branches and five in London and the South East.  www.stowefamilylaw.co.uk