insideKENT Magazine Issue 66 - September 2017 | Page 152
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MINIMISING THE EFFECTS
OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
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17/08/2017 13:59
WHEN MUM AND DAD ARE THE CENTRE OF YOUR WORLD, DIVORCE CHANGES EVERYTHING.
THAT’S WHY IT’S SO IMPORTANT TO PUT YOUR CHILDREN’S WELLBEING FIRST WHEN
SEPARATING FROM YOUR SPOUSE.
Of course, divorce is no walk in the park
for anyone, but it can be a true earthquake
to children. Suddenly Mum or Dad is no
longer sitting on the other side of the
dining room table. Research clearly links the approach taken
by parents to divorce with the risk of
behavioural problems in their children:
the better behaved the parents, the better
behaved the children!
Relationships are complicated and
younger children may find it very difficult
to grasp what has happened. Some blame
themselves for the split or wonder if either
parent still loves them. If you find yourself facing a painful divorce,
reassure your children and give them
plenty of attention. Help them to maintain
a relationship with the now absent parent;
even if that person doesn’t make it easy for
you, is distracted by other priorities or a new
life and has a very different view of the ways
things should be done.
Relationship experts advise divorcing
parents to keep emotional drama and
disruption to a minimum, and not to row
with each other in front of the children, no
matter how angry or hurt they may feel. The
other parent, after all is part of your child’s
life and that will never change. Criticise that
parent or shout at them in front of your child
and you are in effect attacking them too.
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If, despite your best efforts, you cannot
agree what is in the best interests of your
children, you may need to consider taking
legal advice. A solicitor can advise you
about your options and the best way to
resolve matters. That might be by writing to
your former partner, attending mediation
or application to the court, and there is no
reason why this process needs to be difficult
or confrontational. In many cases, an
amicable agreement can be reached which
benefits both parties and, most importantly,
the children.
Stowe Family Law is the specialist largest
family law firm in the UK. They now operate
12 offices around the country, including four
Yorkshire branches and five in London and
the South East.
www.stowefamilylaw.co.uk