Inns Magazine Issue 4 Vol. 19 Weddings 2015 - Page 17

Feeding the Beasts

The hospitality business is all about taking care of your guests; if you are not feeling your best or you are fighting with your spouse, your guests will feel it and your business will suffer. Maintaining wellbeing, the care and feeding of self, partner and relationship, is abundantly important in order to avoid burnout. Commit to making self care a top priority, not only from a physical perspective, but from an emotional, spiritual and social aspect as well. Set aside time for each of you to refuel as individuals but also take time away from the business to reconnect as a couple. Be religious about scheduling regular date nights, get out of the inn and do things that help you remember why you got married in the first place. Hire an inn sitter or manager or close the inn occasionally, if you must. Work at building relationships within your community and with other innkeepers so that you don't feel isolated in a crowd.

Maintain a Drama Free Zone

Have you ever walked into a home or business and instantly felt that you could cut the tension with a knife? Creating a positive vibe when working in close quarters with your spouse requires ground rules that support mutual respect and good will. Vow never to argue or complain about each other in front of guests or staff. Make a practice of giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, biting your tongue when necessary and acknowledging with appreciation your partner's talents and contributions. Create a coping mechanism to employ when you are feeling triggered, such as taking three deep breaths or walking around the block. Make a concerted effort to replace reactivity with curiosity. And always practice gratitude and forgiveness.

Fun is Key

Owning an inn with your spouse can be a joyous and satisfying lifestyle choice. You will meet interesting people from around the globe and you will have the opportunity to share the magic of your own little corner of the world. You will bear witness to momentous occasions in the lives of your guests, such as engagements, weddings, honeymoons and anniversaries. You will make lasting friendships with guests and colleagues. And you will be your own boss with the ability to design the business to suit your desires. None of it will be worth doing if you're not enjoying yourself. If you consciously choose to be happy and make the ride fun, you will have the time of your life.

Mary Lotto Ross is a Life and Business Coach and consultant to the hospitality industry. She is the former owner and founder of Swann House in Washington, DC, a Select Registry member property. She can be reached at or through her web site at