HOW YOGA CHANGED ME
How Yoga Changed Me
An Introduction to Self-Love
By Kristine Camron
My mat became my safe haven . It was the only place where I could get away from the hectic pace of my life and connect to my breath and still my mind .
I am not the same person that I was before I found yoga . I still remember walking into my first yoga class with Erin at Invoke Studio . I was diagnosed with cancer the day before . I hung up the phone with the doctor ’ s office and I sat in my car in shock , disbelief , and fear . I started to cry . I had scorned organized religion years before . I wasn ’ t ready to step back into a church to reconnect to God . Then I heard a voice whisper to me that I needed to find my way back to a higher power . The next day I walked into my first yoga class .
Yoga was my first step towards rekindling my spirituality practice . Like most new yoga students , I hid in the back of the room and watched the people in front of me in order to learn the various yoga poses . My lack of flexibility made the yoga class difficult for me , but after the class was over , my heart felt lighter and I was able to let go of my fears about my upcoming cancer treatment .
At the time of my cancer diagnosis , I was 37 , a partner in a large law firm , a mother to three young boys and married to my second husband . My life was consumed with client demands , networking events , community volunteering and family obligations . My life was not my own and the stress of the situation had made me sick . I needed to start taking care of myself . After my recovery from cancer treatment I started going to yoga regularly . It was slow at first because I was still physically healing from my surgery . Eventually I was going to yoga several times a week . My mat became my safe haven . It was the only place where I could get away from the hectic pace of my life and connect to my breath and still my mind . As my mind became quieter , I was able to hear the inner voice that I had ignored for many years . Yoga teaches us to be open to receiving guidance from the inner voice . As I allowed myself to listen , my life changed dramatically .
By all outward appearances , before my yoga practice , my life appeared to be picture perfect . But on the inside , I was miserable . I began to realize that the life I had created didn ’ t reflect who I truly am and how I wanted to live my life . I lived in fear that I was not “ good enough ” and therefore was not worthy of love and happiness in my life . My fear of not being good enough drove me to look to others for approval and love by taking actions to please them and make them happy . However , during this process of making everyone else happy , I had forgotten who I was and what I wanted in life . I was hopelessly lost , so I hid behind a mask of a successful professional woman who “ had it all .” But deep down , I was a mess . I lacked self-confidence and , more importantly , self-love .
Through yoga and the teachers that I met , I was introduced to selflove . I started taking care of myself and made key changes in my life . I returned to work after my cancer treatment , but it wasn ’ t business as usual . I was committed to protecting my health , so I set boundaries with clients and colleagues in order to keep a more sane work schedule .
72 INDIANA & YOGA MAGAZINE ISSUE 2