INDUSTRY INSIGHT
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The Good Old Days
“ Your whole life ’ s gonna change . I wish somebody would have told me that . You ’ ll miss the magic of the good old days .” - Macklemore
Being the youngest Funeral Director at Perman Funeral Home , I listen to the stories of how things used to be in funeral service from Mr . Perman . I ’ ve also heard the stories about his father who was a Funeral Director since the 1950s . My goodness , how things have changed .
While listening to the radio the other day , there was a segment about “ the good old days .” Back then , kids played in the streets , you could borrow a cup of sugar from the neighbor , people sat on front porches or the stoop , and newspaper boys delivered the newspaper .
Back in the day , if someone died early in the morning , the Pittsburgh Press could run the obituary in the afternoon edition ( sometimes making the “ bulldog ” edition at noon ) for the visitation that would start that same evening . Visitation would last two additional days . Hours would be 10 a . m . to 10 p . m . Funeral Mass or services would be on the fourth day .
Funerals have changed since “ the good old days .” There are shorter viewing times , one-day visitations , same-day visitations , no services , and Celebrations of Life . Cremations passed burials in the U . S . in 2016 .
People tell us , “ I do not want a fuss .” People should make a fuss over you . You lived a full life , had a purpose and there are stories to tell . People need to come to reminisce , remember you , and say goodbye . They are not coming to see you anyway . It is estimated that two-thirds of the people who come to the visitation didn ’ t know the person who died . Truly , a funeral is not for the dead . The funeral is for the survivors . In “ the good old days ,” God forbid if you didn ’ t have a visitation .
People cannot get time off work . Make the time . Holding some sort of gathering is important because it reinforces the reality of the death . Some people feel like the person is still alive because they never took the time to say goodbye . Plan the gathering when it is right for you . If you can ’ t get time off of work , plan the funeral to fit your schedule .
A friend of our family cared for an elderly woman . That woman had no living relatives . When the elderly woman died , our friend ’ s employer would not grant bereavement leave . We made it work and made the funeral convenient for those who attended .
Some say the “ cost is too high .” Significant life events and changes do cost money . A home purchase averages $ 159,100 in Pennsylvania according to Zillow . com . A wedding will run you $ 30,000 . Raising a child will cost approximately $ 230,000 . A new car averages $ 30,000 . A college education can be over $ 100,000 . The average cost of a funeral is $ 8,600 .
“ I am already dead – what does it matter ?” Life matters . Your life mattered .
In my new career as a Funeral Director , I let families know why having a funeral is important . Some families agree and see the value
of having a funeral . Many families are thankful that they held some sort of goodbye . I haven ’ t heard , “ I ’ m glad we didn ’ t do anything .”
We , Generation X and Millennials , can learn something from the more senior Funeral Directors . I listen to the silent generation and the baby boomers as to why it is important to keep some traditions alive . We need to say goodbye . The future generations need to understand that their lives are “ gonna change .” I understand the wisdom of the “ good old days .”
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Frank Perman , Supervisor , CFSP , CPC , CCO , CFC
412-486-3600 www . permanfuneralhome . com
923 Saxonburg Blvd , at Route 8 , Shaler Township across from Eat ‘ n Park
This Industry Insight was written by Jesse McElroy , Licensed Funeral Director at Perman Funeral Home and Cremation Services , Inc . Ms . McElroy recently received her Certified Preplanning Consultant and Crematory Operations Certified designations . She helps families tell their stories . Inquiries may be made to her at 412.486.3600 or emailed to jesse @ permanfuneralhome . com .
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