INDUSTRY INSIGHT
FAMILY LAW
Effective co-parenting is crucial in any divorce or separation . Every day parents choose to divorce for a variety of reasons . Some choose to handle it amicably and others do not . Approaching the children about a family split-up can be one of the most , if not the most difficult things parents have to face . The way you handle your children during this time can have a big impact on how your custody will fare , and the way parents work together can factor into how much custody you will have .
First , try to keep your family out of court if you can . As parents , you are empowered to work out custody issues on your own and you will all be better for it . However , in the event you cannot figure it out , the only hard and fast rule the Pennsylvania courts go by is what is in the best interests of the child .
This can be a very subjective standard but some of the factors that may play into a judge ’ s decision on custody are : who is more available to care for the child ; who can provide a loving , nurturing , and stable environment for the child ; the ability of the parents to effectively communicate ; the parents ’ respective work schedules ; and how close the parents live to each other .
Oftentimes , custody decisions can come down to two parents who live near each other , love their child , and have reasonable work schedules but cannot communicate with each other , or choose to put their child in the middle of their dispute . If you are facing a breakup and there are kids involved , here are some tips for a smooth transition for the whole family .
Do not use your child as a messenger . It does not work well for the child since he is being put in the middle .
Do not disparage the other parent in front of your child or allow your family members or friends to do the same . This can backfire on you and can lead to a child being very confused and feeling like she has to choose sides . Furthermore , the court will not look favorably on a parent who speaks poorly of the other parent directly to their child when deciding custody .
Do not ask your child to keep secrets from the other
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parent . Again , this puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on a child .
Do work together on a realistic custody , vacation and holiday schedule to maximize the time each parent spends with the child . If you have trouble figuring out a custody schedule , both parents can consult with a mediator to design a schedule that works well for everyone involved . Attorneys can also assist with this if you need legal advice on custody .
Do communicate directly with each other via phone , email , text and in person . For those parents who struggle with seeing each other or even hearing the other parent ’ s voice , they can use Our Family Wizard or Co-Families . com , online court-monitored tools and email system for any and all issues regarding the child .
Do seek family counseling , co-parenting counseling or one-onone counseling for your child if needed .
Do try to be flexible with the other parent , as things do come up , traffic happens , schedules change . Obviously , if it becomes a pattern , then there might be a problem that needs to be addressed .
Regardless of whether you are going to stay together , you will be parents of your children for the rest of your lives . Make the right decisions and you will find that you can co-exist separately for the benefit of your children and your children will be in a better position to handle the transition . If you have to resort to the courts , do your part by acting in the best interests of your child and shielding your son or daughter from as much of the ugly stuff as possible .
This Industry Insight was written by Brooke B . McMorrow and the attorneys at McMorrow Law , LLC .
Attorney Brooke McMorrow is the founding member and Managing Attorney of McMorrow Law , LLC located in Wexford . The practice focuses on family law matters such as divorce , custody , child support , guardianship , estate planning , and probate / estate administration in Pittsburgh and the surrounding counties . Attorney McMorrow is collaboratively trained and a certified mediator . She is also a founding member of Collaborative Solutions North . She is licensed to practice in Pennsylvania and New York . For a free initial consultation call 724.940.0100 or visit the website at www . mcmorrowlaw . com .
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