NIAGARA network Helping People Move Forward with Their Lives.
Holiday
Homecoming
and Your Aging
Parents
By Amy Harris, Harborcreek Senior Apartments,
Niagara Network Member
W
hat do you remember about the
holidays as a child? Did you
make colorful turkeys, Indian
feather headbands or Christmas trees out of
construction paper? Meanwhile, did your
parents put together an amazing holiday feast?
Or do you have memories of overhearing your
parents bicker over whether to go to Grandma
#1’s house, or Grandma’s #2’s house? For
most of us, our parents are the ones that had
to make all of the decisions and do all the
planning. Now, as an adult child, you may
find yourself making lots of decisions for your
parents, and for most of us, there is nothing
simple about it!
As an adult child with one or more aging parents, in-laws, or step
parents, you may already have concerns about their current state of
being. Perhaps you live out of town and your in-town sibling has been
trying to tell you how things are different. When you go home for
the holidays you may not notice a change at all. Or maybe you will
notice a certain look of confusion when you ask a question, or that it
takes Dad a little longer to come up with his words. It’s possible you
will visit and witness something so out of character that it smacks you
right in the face. Wow! Mom or Dad really does need help!
Before you panic and start asking those personal questions that may
compromise their dignity and put them on the defensive, ask yourself
these questions. But, as you will see, for every question there are even
more questions you will want to find answers to.
What’s going on in his or her life that’s different?
If your parent just lost a spouse or best friend it may become
suddenly apparent as to how much they truly depended on each other.
Show genuine interest in what a day in their life is. What does Dad do
from the moment he gets up in the morning to when he goes to bed
at night? Things may seem pretty normal to you with noticing just
the occasional misplacing of something. And we all misplace things,
right? That doesn’t necessarily mean there is a problem, but you
should take notice.
Do your parents appear to be bathing and wearing clean clothes?
If not, figure out why. Is it too difficult to get in and out of the tub
or shower? Are there grab bars or do they have to throw one leg up
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