“ I would absolutely hate for a family to be using one and have it break down on them , so I ’ ve been able to order additional parts and pads to have on standby .”
Emmerson ’ s also secured sponsorship to buy Moses baskets and bassinettes , and is working with the hospital to arrange to present the CuddleCots before Christmas .
“ Some weeks there are two babies who die here in Dunedin ; sometimes , two die in one day ,” she says .
“ So , I want to have two of the CuddleCots available for the hospital , and then I ’ d like the third one to be a loan one , so that parents can take their babies home with them .
“ I just want them to be there for families to use as soon as possible .”
Emmerson has already had plaques made for the CuddleCots . Together with Adisyn ’ s name , each plaque is beautifully inscribed with a line from Tiki Taane ’ s ‘ Starship Lullaby ’: Let the angels take you up into the sky .
She ’ s now just keen to get the CuddleCots where they should be . Notification the units had docked in New Zealand came the same day she received in the mail a copy of a book to which she is a contributor : Empty Cradle , Broken Heart : Surviving the death of your baby , by American author Deborah Davis , Ph . D .
“ I kind of take that as a sign from our little one .”
Much of Emmerson ’ s grief defies explanation and can never be fully appreciated other than , perhaps , by those who , too , have suffered a similar tragedy .
“ Somebody once told me something that really resonated with me : ‘ The grief remains the same ; life just gets bigger around it ’.
In her experience , if there is anything that similarly-bereaved parents need it is those who will sit with them , even in silence , signalling support and care .
“ I want our CuddleCots to say : ‘ We are right here with you ’. families will feel that support , that love – because that ’ s what they come with .”
Organising the CuddleCots feels like something of a milestone for Emmerson in what have been anything but an easy few years for the couple .
“ We ’ ve been together seven years , and since then I ’ ve had two knee surgeries , a tumour removed from my left breast , major shoulder surgery , I broke my back falling off a horse , and then our baby died .
“ Since losing Adisyn , I ’ ve also been diagnosed with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder .
“ I am forever changed – I am a different person . In fact , I ’ m still working out who I am after losing her .”
Yet , for everything , Emmerson always tries to reach through the pain to the gifts that she says are invariably always there .
Somebody once told me something that really resonated with me : ‘ The grief remains the same ; life just gets bigger around it ’.”
“ I think it ’ s going to be a good end to the year .”
Aside from getting the CuddleCots to where they ’ re needed , having her NRG family around her at the presentation is , for her , deeply significant .
“ I couldn ’ t have done it without all of the love and support and care we ’ ve had since we ’ ve been here in Dunedin – they ’ ve lifted me up , when I ’ ve needed it ,” she says .
“ I ’ m going to insist they ’ re all there when Ben and I do the presentation , because that ’ s important to me .
“ I want them to know that none of this would be possible without them – and , for that , I ’ ll be eternally grateful .
Adisyn-Hope
“ I hope that by using the CuddleCots , though it ’ s in such traumatic circumstances , other
“ This is the proudest thing – next to becoming Adisyn ’ s Mum – I have ever done .”
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