In Gear | Rotary in Southern New Zealand Issue 2 | Page 39
And, so began what has become Adisyn’s
Hope for Others, Emmerson and Ben’s tribute
to their daughter. At its heart is love, giving
and ‘paying it forward’.
There are the ‘random acts of kindness’. One
of Emmerson’s favourites is through cards
produced by Sands, a nationwide support
group for parents and families who
have experienced the loss of a child
during pregnancy, birth or infancy.
“So, I’ll pay for someone’s parking
or coffee, and leave one of these
wee cards baring Adisyn’s name,
and explaining it’s been done in her
memory,” she says.
“I do it so that her name is spoken. I keep the
cards on me all of the time.”
Every Easter and Christmas, there are special
traditions Ben and Emmerson have begun
since Adisyn died – many the same they would
have started for, and with, her, had she lived.
Each year on Adisyn’s birthday, the couple
donates a Moses basket to Sands for another
baby. They celebrate the day with cake, and
release balloons into the sky in her memory.
Since arriving in Dunedin, Ben, a chef, and
Emmerson have started their own business,
The Hungry Tui, a mobile kitchen – and a very
handy vehicle for fundraising.
“We do things like Pink Ribbon Breakfasts and
Relay for Life, and today I have four dozen
cupcakes in my car because it’s Red Nose Day,
and for a gold coin donation we’re going to
give them away.
“And, in the lead up to Easter, I start up a
collection through our business. Then we go
and do a visit to the Children’s Ward. We give
them gifts, and there are eggs for the children
who can have chocolate.
“I dress up as the Easter Bunny. We do that in
memory of our daughter, because, if she was
here, we would be doing Easter egg hunts.”
Come December, Emmerson dons an elf
costume, and the couple go and visit sick
children, delivering festive decorations and
treats.
They choose a Christmas present, too, one
they can imagine picking for Adisyn.
Adisyn-Hope
They chose a family bach at Purakaunui, near
Dunedin. It became home for a year and,
despite its lack of insulation and rudimentary
facilities, it was also the sanctuary from which
the couple started to slowly piece together
their new future. But, that future needed
to embrace their daughter and honour her
memory.
“We go and buy a gift for a child who is the
same age as Adisyn would be and take it to
Dunedin Hospital to donate it.”
While, both years, the presents have been
given via the hospital, the spirit behind
the gifts has come back each time, quite
unexpectedly, to Emmerson and Ben.
As they say, great pain
comes from great love.”
“About 12 months after, I received a message
from the parents who had received our first
gift – what would have been Adisyn’s first
Christmas.
“They ended up naming their daughter – her
middle name – after our daughter, Adisyn.
“They had had a difficult delivery, and they
weren’t sure whether she was going to make
it.
“They said their Adisyn will know about our
Adisyn, and that is huge for me – that is
massive.
“And last year we actually got to meet the
mother and wee girl who received Adisyn’s gift
– it was very emotional.
“I know that, if we’re lucky enough to have
more children, that these will be traditions
we’ll continue, and our younger children will
know they had a big sister, and they’ll know
about her story.”
On coming south from Wellington, Emmerson
found another source of strength when she
joined Dunedin’s Next Rotary Generation Club,
after meeting president – and now close friend
– Susanah Walker.
“I can’t stress enough, I could not have done
it without the support and contributions of all
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