If and Only If: A Journal of Body Image and Eating Disorders Winter 2015 | Page 82

size thirty-six size A bra’s hung over the back of her chaise lounge and extra small cotton tank tops lay beached on her foot stool. Lisbeth worked hard to hold her tongue, trying her best to fold the clothes in a neat pile; however the area was back in shambles the very next day. One morning, while she picked clothes from the floor she grabbed a cheetah print bra and held it against her chest in front of the oval mirror hanging above the sofa. She would look good in cheetah. Perhaps a scour of the specialty stores for in her size was in order.

She was knocked out of her daydream when Dora walked in, snatching the bra out of her hands. “What are you doing?” Dora said.

“I was cleaning up for you.”

Dora’s frown made Lisbeth cower.

“Well, leave my bras alone, I’m sorry the room’s a mess.” She stooped down to pick up the companion pieces-- a pair of lacy black underwear and cheetah print garters. “I’m looking for something to wear for tonight.”

Dora was going out to a club. Lisbeth and Jake were welcome to come. Lisbeth grinned and walked briskly out of the room to plan Jake’s and her own outfits. When Jake came home he burst her bubble.

“Sounds nice, you girls have a good time.” He grabbed a beer from the fridge and headed into the living room.

She scurried behind him, the corners of her lips turned down. “Maybe I should stay home with you?”

Jake gave her a playful shove in the direction of the bedroom and coaxed her to “get out and have some fun.”

The girls dressed in Lisbeth’s bedroom. A size two shift dress and a size fifty-two peach and white striped A-line lay side by side on the bed. Lisbeth opened the top drawer of her dresser and selected a baby blue bra and matching underwear from the row of folded undergarments. She stole glances at Dora as she clasped on the cheetah print bra over her apple sized globes and again as her cousin lifted the grey shift dress over her head. The jersey fabric skimmed over her flat tummy and down her legs.

“How did you do it?” Lisbeth whispered.

Dora smiled at her and grabbed a silver belt and cinched it around her waist. She elbowed Lisbeth out the way of the wall length mirror, checking her hair and smoothing the dress over her bottom.

“Six years Lis. Six long, tasteless years.” She turned around throwing her head over her shoulder and checked her back.

“How’d you do it?”

“Lots of precooked meals and a healthy dose of romantic cynicism.” Dora’s eyes grew dark and Lisbeth shivered and hurried to don her dress.

“What do you mean?”