How to Coach Yourself and Others Grief Coaching and Counseling | Page 6

is not present, it is likely that related feelings are present, and each in turn would be handled
like the first, until the peacefulness arises.
•

Some insight into what was going on for us, what meaning we can give to the fact we had
strong feelings about an incident, can and often do arise after holding oneself in the
peacefulness for a while.

If the healing process you are presently trying does not give you long- lasting resolutions (the problem
keeps resurfacing, despite the temporary relief you experience), you may want to look for someone to
guide you through a properly run, fully associated session of EFT or similar process such as AER.
You may "get lucky" with one of those processes that make you feel better temporarily, using
"reframing", lots of deep breathing and other feel-good whipped cream, but true resolution comes
from true honoring of the feeling, and that means staying in it until it dissolves of its own accord.
Many of the existing healing oriented methods could be improved and provide long lasting results if
the concept of full association with the feeling was incorporated into them. As I continue this research,
I find that positive results grow in number and intensity, so long as I keep present the three steps of
complete healing and ensure that resolution is reached in each case.
At the same time, I am not surprised by the resistance to this concept of resolution I have encountered
from some practitioners of traditional cognitive oriented therapies. Besides not answering the
apparently common human tendency towards complicated methods, it is often difficult for a
practitioner to watch someone else be in the depths of their pain without their own pain being
triggered. However, once we have healed our own pain, it becomes far easier to patiently support those
doing their 3 step healing work.
Remember to stay with the healing process until healing is complete, remaining in the feeling as fully
as you possibly can.
(Copyright Robert S. Vibert May 2006, all rights reserved. First published on www.real-personalgrowth.com May be freely distributed with this copyright notice intact.)