How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching With Meta Communication | Page 78

Marriage Myth: Communication will Solve All Your Problems
Concealed issues suddenly brought to light can explode.
Michael and Gwen enter the counselor’s office and nervously take their seats. Michael fidgets and stares at the floor
while Gwen sits upright, looks toward the therapist and utters the words that marriage counselors hear so frequently,
they can almost say them in unison, “Doctor, we’re not like most of the couples you see… we don’t have any really
serious problems; he doesn’t drink or beat me or chase other women—nothing like that. Our problem is that we just
don’t communicate.”
“We just don’t communicate.” The cry is frequent and the assumptions are clear: Communication means a better
marriage; more conversation means more connection; increased interaction means increased intimacy. It all sounds
logical enough—or does it?

Brace for fallout
In the past, I might have rushed in with a glut of
techniques to help a couple like Michael and
Gwen accomplish their stated goal of better
communication. But over the years x