How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching With Meta Communication | Page 77

Interpreting body language.
It’s inherently difficult to explain nonverbal communication in words. Yet it a central form of communication. It is
possible to understand how the other person is receiving your message through clues in his or her movements. We
pick up on these clues all the time without realizing it, but sometimes ignore the messages.
When you are talking, watch your partner for signs of understanding, distraction, confusion or boredom and adapt
your behavior accordingly. Be aware of crossed arms and avoidance of eye contact. If this is happening, you might
need to alter your approach.

Being aware of your differences.
Individuals’ perceptions of the same event or piece of information can vary a
great deal. Different backgrounds lead to different expectations of the world, and
we tend to hear what we expect to hear. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and
gear your message specifically toward him or her. Make sure it has been
received accurately by asking for feedback. Also remember that many words and
concepts have different meanings and so they are often open to
misinterpretation.

Resolving conflict.
Conflicts naturally will arise whenever people are living together. Conflicts can
occur for many reasons including “black and white thinking,” clashing standards
or beliefs, unresolved childhood issues, and the background stress of modern
life.
Conflicts potentially can be useful and channeled in healthy ways as long as they don’t involve threats or
stubbornness. They can stimulate discussion and even bring people in a relationship closer together, as long as each
partner expresses his or her feelings and opinions in an honest and loving way.
Resolve conflicts by working together so that neither of you is forced to ‘give in’ or be dominated. Look for
solutions that are acceptable to both, and keep working at it until you reach a satisfactory conclusion.
Subject: How to start a conversation
I came upon this site and decided to ask a question and see what you have up your sleeve. I have so much
difficulty in starting a conversation with women. This also causes me to have a bad first impression as well. I am
always thinking what to say next and the effect is she is probably thinking I am stupid or something (which I am not
of course). I can get the looks and the flirts, but when I do get the courage and talk I found she has a boyfriend. I
generally continue to talk to her, but in the back of my mind I am saying, "Damn". What I am basically saying is what
do you talk about when you want to get to know her?
charlie
ANSWER: Hey, Charlie. Thanks for your question. It's an important one. The key to having a good conversation and
building attraction through it is in making your conversation interesting and using humor and wit. In other words, IT
DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, but how you talk. Sharing your interesting opinions, being
sarcastic, and teasing a woman will create many good feelings between the two of you if she is cool enough to
handle it. And the topics don't matter. You can just randomly start telling her: "Hey, did you see this movie? That
actor is so good, he really got into the role which made me feel sorry for him" or something like that.
It's very important to understand and remember that your conversation DOESN'T need to be extrodinary. Normal,
non-cliche conversation will be good enough if your posture, your voice and your body radiate relaxed energy and
confidence.
Thanks, and I hope this helps. If not, please follow up.

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