How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching With Meta Communication | Page 26

BALANCING THE CONVERSATION

When your intention is to build a real, interactive, conversation, to which both parties contribute, you should
not be afraid to do more than your part at the start. Yet, it’s equally important to avoid personal
interrogation. What you have to do is to ask the right questions, knowing things will then almost always
flow nicely.
When you meet new people, always try to keep the questions simple, fun and light hearted. The intention is
to have a good conversation and get to know the person beyond what they do for a living.

The best way to make somebody tell about his/her life, is to ask questions which will
encourage them to talk about themselves in “an unusual, quirky way”.
The best way to approach a conversation is to forget about flirting and seducing, but to see it as an
opportunity to learn. If you find out that your conversation-partner is interested in playing cardgames, and
you are not, then why not say - 'Interesting - tell me, what makes playing card games so interesting or
exciting for you, as I don't get it'. The purpose is not to argue the benefits of playing card games, but to
have a passionate discussion about a subject that is of special interest to them.
People are usually very quick when it comes to form an impression about somebody they meet. For
instance: about a third of the speed dates are actually over within the first 30 seconds. In fact, 45 % of
women and 22 % of men come to a decision within 30 seconds.

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