How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching and Counseling in Difficult Circumstances | Page 68
This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view!
“So you pick your area where you're going to meet them according to where they feel comfortable
and reasonable obviously, but, for example, if somebody hears things from the TV you wouldn’t
want to be in a room where that’s happening. If someone’s fearful of something coming from
outside you might think that their bedroom might be a more peaceful space than maybe somewhere
else. So an awareness of how they feel about where they are.”
Set appointment in advance (9/28)
Rather than formal appointments, this was more about giving patients advance notice about when
the nurse was going to spend time with them or complete a task with them:
‘I would go maybe 20 minutes, 30 minutes beforehand, and explain to them what’s going to
happen’.
This advance notice allowed patients to psychologically prepare themselves, ‘so that actually they
can prepare themselves for being disturbed and I think that shows that you're respecting them’ and
avoided sudden surprises or springing things on patients, a scenario that was more likely to elicit
anxiety or noncooperation. Setting a time for talking with patients could also allow them to contain
their anxiety over the interim:
‘it’s this idea that actually I’m a secure base and I will be coming back, I won’t be leaving you, it’s
more you’re trying to establish that with them’.
Being with the patient (Relationship building, maintaining and assessment)
There was a roughly equal balance under this heading between material that was generic, and that
which was specific to dealing with patients exhibiting specific symptoms.
Be with, sit with, be available, offer conversation (16/28)
“They might be not be very nice, but just be around and say or even I appreciate you won’t talk to
me, fuck off, I appreciate that fair enough, but you know who I am, I’ll be around if you want to
interact”
One way nurses did this was ‘letting them know that you are always available when you are
around’, in other words telling patients that they are available and allowing them to make the
approach, giving them the freedom to select the member of staff that they felt most comfortable
with: ‘remember that I'm always around, and probably in your own good time, when you feel that
you're ready to come to me, feel free to do so, but I will always, I will also be looking out for you.’
It also meant being consistent in that availability and accessibility, giving time even when the
patient is not able to utilise the time to communicate effectively. This was spoken about as
‘investing time’, implying that the return on that investment might come later rather than
immediately. A more active way was to make that availability more prominent by ‘sitting down in
the room where they are’, ‘just be in the room a little while’ before saying anything and ‘occupying
the same space’. There could be a thoughtful attentiveness about this presence: ‘sitting in the room
with somebody and trying to think about ways that soothe them’, and ‘allowing them the space’ to
say what is on their mind. This process could not be ‘forced’, as ‘pressurising the patient isn’t
helpful,’ instead nurses had to wait for the right moment, when patients were ready to talk, ‘going
into their space and being with them’. Slightly more assertive is to directly offer conversation, such
as by saying ‘do you want a chat?’ or ‘can we go and talk about this’.
“And in a way it might just be about being there regularly and saying, I'm going to keep a check on
you every ten minutes or so because I'm a bit worried about you, and so just a genuine concern for
that person and just seeing how they're travelling regularly.”
Introduce self, explain role (12/28)
“You introduce yourself and what you are there for, and you make them understand they can come
to you for help or if they want to discuss their condition or medication or whatever you’re there to
do for them. So you develop a relationship.” Having approached or made themselves available to
For [email protected]
Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute
70