How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching and Counseling in Difficult Circumstances | Page 68

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! “So you pick your area where you're going to meet them according to where they feel comfortable and reasonable obviously, but, for example, if somebody hears things from the TV you wouldn’t want to be in a room where that’s happening. If someone’s fearful of something coming from outside you might think that their bedroom might be a more peaceful space than maybe somewhere else. So an awareness of how they feel about where they are.” Set appointment in advance (9/28) Rather than formal appointments, this was more about giving patients advance notice about when the nurse was going to spend time with them or complete a task with them: ‘I would go maybe 20 minutes, 30 minutes beforehand, and explain to them what’s going to happen’. This advance notice allowed patients to psychologically prepare themselves, ‘so that actually they can prepare themselves for being disturbed and I think that shows that you're respecting them’ and avoided sudden surprises or springing things on patients, a scenario that was more likely to elicit anxiety or noncooperation. Setting a time for talking with patients could also allow them to contain their anxiety over the interim: ‘it’s this idea that actually I’m a secure base and I will be coming back, I won’t be leaving you, it’s more you’re trying to establish that with them’. Being with the patient (Relationship building, maintaining and assessment) There was a roughly equal balance under this heading between material that was generic, and that which was specific to dealing with patients exhibiting specific symptoms. Be with, sit with, be available, offer conversation (16/28) “They might be not be very nice, but just be around and say or even I appreciate you won’t talk to me, fuck off, I appreciate that fair enough, but you know who I am, I’ll be around if you want to interact” One way nurses did this was ‘letting them know that you are always available when you are around’, in other words telling patients that they are available and allowing them to make the approach, giving them the freedom to select the member of staff that they felt most comfortable with: ‘remember that I'm always around, and probably in your own good time, when you feel that you're ready to come to me, feel free to do so, but I will always, I will also be looking out for you.’ It also meant being consistent in that availability and accessibility, giving time even when the patient is not able to utilise the time to communicate effectively. This was spoken about as ‘investing time’, implying that the return on that investment might come later rather than immediately. A more active way was to make that availability more prominent by ‘sitting down in the room where they are’, ‘just be in the room a little while’ before saying anything and ‘occupying the same space’. There could be a thoughtful attentiveness about this presence: ‘sitting in the room with somebody and trying to think about ways that soothe them’, and ‘allowing them the space’ to say what is on their mind. This process could not be ‘forced’, as ‘pressurising the patient isn’t helpful,’ instead nurses had to wait for the right moment, when patients were ready to talk, ‘going into their space and being with them’. Slightly more assertive is to directly offer conversation, such as by saying ‘do you want a chat?’ or ‘can we go and talk about this’. “And in a way it might just be about being there regularly and saying, I'm going to keep a check on you every ten minutes or so because I'm a bit worried about you, and so just a genuine concern for that person and just seeing how they're travelling regularly.” Introduce self, explain role (12/28) “You introduce yourself and what you are there for, and you make them understand they can come to you for help or if they want to discuss their condition or medication or whatever you’re there to do for them. So you develop a relationship.” Having approached or made themselves available to For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 70