How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching and Counseling in Difficult Circumstances | Page 32

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! b) Recognize your loved one’s point of view. c) Establish that loved one’s point of view is only one point of view. d) Supply an alternative, in non-parental manner. e) Anticipate setbacks. f) Talk about yourself. g) Talk in fashion that allows your loved one to “save face”. h) Maintain a positive attitude. i) Use admiring and approving statements. j) Provide education about negative symptoms. 4) How not to empathize. a) Telling your loved one they are not ready for a goal they have set for themselves (i.e. work, school, sexual relationship) and focusing on “maintenance” Telling your loved one he/she needs to be on medicines to get better and he/she will always have to take them. b) Focusing on the labels of illnesses. c) Imposing your standards of living on them. d) Taking a parental stance/controlling privileges such as money or driving. “Ex. I told you if you would have taken your meds this wouldn’t have happened”. 3) Agree 1) Having listened and empathized with your loved one’s frustrations, goals, etc., you will ultimately have something that you all can agree on. It won’t be everything and it may not be much, but if the door is cracked put your foot in it (i.e. wanting to work, they may feel they have not because they have been in the hospital although you may feel it is due to symptoms you can both agree it is good to work and to stay out of hospital). 2) What to do when you notice the door is opening and defences are down. a) Normalize the experience (i.e. I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes) b) Discuss only perceived problems. “I can’t sleep because of the shadows” You may recognize this as paranoia or hallucinations; however you need not use those words. c) Review perceived advantages and disadvantages of treatment. If they miss a disadvantage feel free to point it out. (I understand that medicine also makes you gain weight). d) Correct misconceptions if possible, such as assuring neuroleptics (I try to avoid the term anti-psychotics) are not addictive and MI is not caused by upbringing or illicit drugs. e) Reflect back and highlight perceived benefits. (I understand the medicines suck, but it sounds like you feel if you take them you stay out of trouble with the judge). f) Agree to disagree. This can be important when your loved one feels threatened by you. You can agree to disagree. Point out disagreements can be non-threatening such as in sports or politics. g) Remember the goal is to collaborate and not pontificate. 4) Partnership 1) Once you have established an agreement work together on how it can be completed on their terms (i.e. how they believe they can return to work or stay out of the hospital.) 2) If possible attempt to agree on goals that are reachable. For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 34