How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching and Counseling in Difficult Circumstances | Page 118
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NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION
Jackal language (1) versus Giraffe language (2)
1. Clearly expressing how I am without blaming or criticizing
2. Empathically receiving how you are without hearing blame or criticism
OBSERVATIONS
1.1. What I observe (see, hear, remember, imagine, free from my evaluations) that does or does not
contribute to my well-being:
"When I (see, hear) . . . "
1.2. What you observe (see, hear, remember, imagine, free from my evaluations) that does
or does not contribute to your well-being:
"When you see/hear . . . "
(Sometimes dropped when offering empathy)
FEELINGS
2.1. How I feel (emotion or sensation rather than thought) in relation to what I observe:
"I feel . . . "
2.2. How you feel (emotion or sensation rather than thought) in relation to what you
observe:
"You feel . . . "
NEEDS
3.1. What I need or value (rather than a preference, or a specific action) that causes my feelings:
" . . . because I need/value. . . "
Clearly requesting that which would enrich my life without demanding
3.2. What you need or value (rather than a preference, or a specific action) that causes
your feelings:
" . . . because you need/value. . . "
Empathically receiving that which would enrich your life without hearing any demand
REQUESTS
4.1. The concrete actions I would like taken: "Would you be willing to . . . "
4.2. The concrete actions you would like taken: "Would you like to . . . "
(Sometimes dropped with offering empathy)
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