How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 96

Determine whether someone is deliberately using a ploy or "game" to bring about a dispute or conflict
into the open. This frequently happens amongst friends or in relationships, when one member wishes to
have influence or to attempt control over the other.
Rather than engaging in an argument with this manipulator, learn to simply say "no" and by pointing
out clear facts. For example:
Be calm, rational, and pleasant when you say no. Don't try to up the ante by grimacing or snapping
back. It's also important to keep your response simple and friendly.
Use your body language to back up your meaning. Shake your head and give your "no" face.
Be polite. When a manipulator asks you to do something, try "I'd love to but I'm too busy in the
upcoming months. Sorry." or "Thanks for asking, but no."

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