How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 80

your partner, do you argue over who said what and what they meant? Emotional manipulation often
involves denial that something was said or done, so that you feel guilty for either doing something
wrong, or not doing enough. Additionally, if you are experiencing emotional manipulation, then you
might notice a difference in how you feel within yourself. For example, are you relieved when
someone else comes to stay, because it means you do not have to deal with your manipulator by
yourself?
Below are some of the sneaky Emotional Blackmail Tactics and dirty tricks you have to be careful
with.
Emotional Manipulation Technique # 1: It’s Either Me or Him/Her
Some people like to make their friends choose between them and another person. Now you are more
pressured to choose the manipulator, for fear of losing their friendship.
But a true friend would never do such a thing. This is an emotional manipulation technique that even
little kids use in the playground. To avoid making a decision (and one you would probably regret either
way), walk away. Let that person know that you’re not going to take sides.
If they throw a huff, that is no longer your problem. What matters is that you stayed neutral. Frankly,
you’ll be a lot safer that way anyway.
Emotional Manipulation Technique # 2: I’ll Do You This Favor, But Don’t Forget You Owe Me.
It’s really difficult to ask someone for a favor, especially when you know they’re going to exploit you
right back for it. It’s normal to ask a favor from a friend. But there are people who will do you one
favor, and then will milk you for every little thing afterwards.
When you put your foot down, they will go on a tirade about how you have no sense of gratitude and
whatnot. To avoid this kind of manipulation, be careful with who you ask favors from. Remember that
there is a price for everything.
Emotional Manipulation Technique # 3: If You’re Sick, I’m Dying.
We all know how this goes. Emotional manipulators will always make themselves look more of a
victim than you are.
They crave for attention, which is why they’re not always happy when you get the limelight, even if
it’s just for a headache. There’s really no getting around to a person like this.
Perhaps with the right timing, a huge and frank outburst might get through to their head. However, it’s
easier to just let that person be and avoid commenting anymore.
The truth is, emotional manipulation techniques are often used by cowards. They can’t do direct
combat; so they will usually resort to sneaky ways to get you to do what they want. Now that you know
what some of these dirty tricks are, hopefully, you’ll be able to avoid getting sucked into them.
Dealing with emotional blackmail
Conflict, the first sign: Relationships with manipulators are generally conflict-ridden. It is sometimes
difficult to know that you are being manipulated. However, with time, your frustration with this person
grows and you know that something must be wrong with the relationship. You may feel drawn and
repulsed by the manipulator at the same time.
Awareness of your own emotions within the relationship: Your emotions are your best tool for sensing
that there is a problem between you and the other person. Examine whether you feel defensive, guilty,
angry, or sympathy towards the other person.
Define the emotion and understand the pattern: When you think about what happens between you and
the manipulator, describe the emotions that you feel. Put your feelings into words. What specifically

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