How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 34

In writing the book, he spent three years going "undercover" applying for jobs and training at used car
dealerships, fund-raising organizations, and telemarketing firms to observe real-life situations of
persuasion. The book also reviews many of the most important theories and experiments in social
psychology.
Harvard Business Review lists Dr. Cialdini's research in "Breakthrough Ideas for Today's Business
Agenda".
1. The law of reciprocity or law of obligation
People feel obliged to return a favour hen somebody does something for them first. By granting
favours, manipulators create a situation in which the victim feels he owes them something in return or,
in a negotiation, they will make small concessions to stimulate a return-concession. Another way in
which this technique is used is when somebody first makes a large request and, when this request has
been rejected, immediately follows it with a much smaller request.
The law of reciprocity is extremely powerful, often overwhelming the influence of other factors that
normally determine compliance with a request. It applies even to uninvited first favours, which reduce
our ability to decide whom we wish to owe and putting the choice in the hands of others and can spur
unequal exchanges. That is: to be rid of the uncomfortable feeling of indebtedness, an individual will
often agree to a request for a substantially larger favours, than the one he or she first received.
“Favours” can be almost anything that is of value to the victim: sharing a secret, paying attention,
taking out to dine, taking to a concert, support in an argument with a third person, a small token of
friendship, a compliment, a smile, an invitation, …
Manipulators must be careful though that their victims don’t see their actions as a form of bribery, and
thus pressure to comply. Favours and gifts should be given before something is asked “in return”,
because if the victim feels tricked, their compliance will decrease. The obligation created must be
perceived as a sincere and unselfish act of friendship.
Studies revealed that when somebody persuaded you to change your mind, they will be inclined to do
the same if approached by you. This is the strength of observations like: “you know, I have been
thinking about what you said, and you are really right …”
2. The law of scarcity
Oftentimes scarcity is an illusion engineered by the product maker. Because products (and
opportunities) seem a lot more appealing when there is limited availability.
The manipulator knows that, if he lets his victim escape now, chances are he will never return and say:
“okay, I decided. Let’s do it now!”. By creating scarcity, he will therefore put pressure on his victim
to make his decision.
One of the ways in which this law is used, is to make the victim aware of the fact that they have other
people waiting in line to take his place in order to convince him of the value of his “preferential
relationship” with the manipulator.
A few other ways of using this law are :
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the “exclusive”, “limited” or “once in a lifetime” offer

•

posing deadlines: tomorrow the offer is not valid anymore

•

invitation required, vips only …

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