How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 224
Another way of asking is called: The false choice. "Do you want to completely relax or do you prefer
to just chill out?", "Would you prefer to go to "the Kings", or do you prefer "the Shakespeare"?" ...
whatever choice is made, leads to a convenient situation for you! In fact, where it comes down to is :
never ask questions, but make it seem like you are.
Never, never EVER do I ask someone to do something. Tell them they can. Tell them they will. But let
them THINK you are asking. "We have a household goal of $60 once for the year. We only come
around once a year and $60 gives us $5 a month to budget with, fight the cause in your name and win.
You can meet that goal tonight, right."
Notice there is no question mark at the end of that sentence. That's because there is no question. The
words may sound like a question, but your tone should sound like you are stating a cold hard fact. You
can say no to a question, it's a lot harder to say no to a fact.
Confidence is key. Be confident that your listener wants to do what you are suggesting. Be positive.
Not selling your idea isn’t an option. Talk, confident that the other is interested in what you are having
to say. Confident also that they want to get involved. Most of the time they will do what you want,
because it never even occurs to them to do otherwise. Back that confidence by using strong assertive
language: NOT: “I am trying, maybe we could, …” BUT: “I will” - NOT: not “you could help me if
…” BUT: “you will help me by …”
6.12. Use Subliminal Valorisation.
Make yourself a winner : Have others name you, "The one they trust", "The (only)one that can satisfy
their desire, need, longing..."; Healthy, handsome, smart, tender, protective, strong, caring,... Make
them repeat : I want, need, desire … and Include specific positive information about yourself: Your
Preferences, Things you are good at and Your Successes. Also, don't forget to refer to previous periods
of wellbeing, happiness and success.
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