How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 222

It’s important therefore to mention the desired result or feeling over and over again: Use chains of
always stronger, connected feelings: A leads to B, B to C …; Link descriptions of actions and
situations to feelings - For instance: Description of action or situation + and this made him feel like …
/ gives you the feeling of … and finally, use ambiguous words and expressions: light = "not heavy",
but also means "bright", or "told a lie"; below me = blow me; close off = clothes off; laugh = love; new
direction = nude erection; come = cum, ...

6.8. Stimulate Visualization.
When you tell somebody not to think of an old gnome, not to imagine his red pointed cap, not to think
of his long white beard, nor of his high boots and typical duds, … What happens ? He inevitably thinks
of a gnome anyway. To understand what you are saying, the listener has no choice but to create in his
mind some representation of an old gnome. A handy way to make your listener think about or imagine
something, is to tell them not to think about it, or that there’s no such thing as …, or that it is
impossible to imagine …
Always remember: Whatever you describe, your listener will visualize. The more sensory details you
include (colors, sounds, smells, feelings, tastes, …), the stronger his response will be. Use vivid
descriptions to allow your listener to feel as if he is directly experiencing what you describe, with all
the emotions that follow from that experience : When you talk about a beach, don’t just refer to it as “a
beach”, but tell how you walked up a hill and suddenly spotted this pure strip of land, hidden between
two dunes, where the light blue water glittered between the sun, with the softly murmuring wide ocean
caressing the white sandy shore below you in an eternally repeated leisurely rising and falling flow of
its white foamy waves.

6.9. Practice Anchoring.
Emotions are associative; they get linked to particular stimuli, which can later revive that emotion,
even if there’s no logical connection between the stimulus itself and the emotion. Lots of people react
very emotionally to certain old songs, because they automatically connect these songs to a special
moment in their life.
There are places, sounds, … that make us feel very good or sad, depending on which experiences we
associate them with. If you had a truly positive experience with an Italian girl many years ago, you
may suddenly realize that you have become a lover of all things Italian and maybe not even be able to
remember or explain why.
In exactly the same way, you can “anchor” strong emotions, that is: mark them and in this way link
them to a touch, to a specific motion, to a painting, to the starlit sky … in fact, to anything at all. The
stronger the emotion felt when the anchor is set, the stronger the response will be when the anchor is
“fired” later.
The more special and specific the anchor, the longer it will retain its function. Remember Jung’s
Archetypes? People share a number of inner images. Some are universal, most however culturally
determined.
The trigger words that activate these images are nowadays called: power words. When talking to
women for instance, chances are you trigger a few emotions when using these power expressions and
words : expressions: It feels as if I loved you before I met you; - as if I have always loved only you; as if I have been searching for you all my life; - as if I love you since the dawn of mankind. I will love
you as long as I live … and more. Just imagine feeling more intensely than ever before, feel this sense
of overwhelming, irresistible passion… and then realize you can feel completely one with yourself,
with the universe … and even more. Some Power Words are: angels, sacred, magic, fairy tales,

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