How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 142
35. Targeting lack of time and attention.
Someone purposely convinces you to commit to something at just the right time, when you would have
otherwise said “no.” This commonly occurs when you’re in a hurry or mentally fatigued.
Example:
At 5PM on a Friday, as you’re walking out of the office, your co-worker asks you if you mind handling
X, Y and Z for him next week while he’s on vacation. “Sure,” you say quickly. “Shoot me an email
with the details.”
On Monday morning you learn that X, Y and Z are fairly substantial tasks that you wish you hadn’t
committed to.
36. Non-denial denial:
A statement that seems direct, clear-cut and unambiguous at first hearing, but when carefully parsed is
revealed not to be a denial at all, and is thus not untruthful. It is a case in which words that are literally
true are used to convey a false impression; analysis of whether or when such behavior constitutes lying
is a long-standing issue in ethics. London's newspaper The Sunday Times has defined it as "an on-therecord statement, usually made by a politician, repudiating a journalist's story, but in such a way as to
leave open the possibility that it is actually true."
37. Non-apology apology:
A statement that has the form of an apology but does not express the expected contrition. It is common
in both politics and public relations. It most commonly entails the speaker saying that he or she is sorry
not for a behavior, statement or misdeed, but rather is sorry only because a person who has been
aggrieved is requesting the apology, expressing a grievance, or is threatening some form of retribution
or retaliation.
Example:
An example of a non-apology apology would be saying "I'm sorry that you feel that way" to someone
who has been offended by a statement. This apology does not admit that there was anything wrong
with the remarks made, and additionally, it may be taken as insinuating that the person taking offense
was excessively thin-skinned or irrational in taking offense at the remarks in the first place.
Statements that use the word "sorry" but do not express responsibility for wrong-doing may be
meaningful expressions of regret, but such statements can also be used to elicit forgiveness without
acknowledging fault.
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