How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 106

hurtful conduct. They have an answer for everything they’re challenged about. When others confront
them, they come up with a litany of reasons why their behavior was justified and produce literally
thousands of excuses for irresponsible behavior.
Now the traditional thinking on rationalization of course is that it is an unconscious defense
mechanism. The theory behind this is that a person unknowingly tries to alleviate pangs of guilt by
finding some way to grant legitimacy to their behavior. But if someone really is feeling pangs of guilt,
the uneasiness they feel about their behavior is internal. So, when rationalization as a defense
mechanism is truly employed, the exculpating dialogue that takes place is internal. When manipulators
use the responsibility-avoidance tactic of rationalization (alternately: justification, or excus R