How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 104

creep is doing. Fighting. Fighting for his way. Fighting for his "right" to keep right on doing what he
wants to do, all consequences to you be damned.
By his insistent denials you have often been made to feel like the bad guy. For trying to get an
accounting from him for his actions you have succumbed to the accusation that you're being
judgmental, unfair, bullying. So you gave up. You bought the lie that you are the mean one and he is
innocent. Who would insist so tenaciously on their innocence except the innocent? Or so you
rationalize. You are unwilling to believe that he can look you in the eye and lie his ass off from here to
eternity. You want to believe that something about him, and about this relationship, is real...so you
succumb his denials.
Or perhaps you allow yourself to know that
his behavior was bad and destructive, but
you tell yourself that deep down he's really
hurting so he is "in denial" because he can't
face his own pain. This is never the case
with a manipulator.
He is not "in pain". He has no anxiety
about his bad behavior whatsoever. He is
totally cool with how he is. The only thing
he isn't cool with is that you're not
accepting his behavior. He is trying to get a
pass from you by this blatant denial of his
actions. He has no intention of stopping what he is doing. He v