ADVICE | TECHNOLOGY, PROGRESS AND ITS PLACE IN HOSPITALITY
A GUEST SURRENDERS;
TECHNOLOGY, PROGRESS
AND ITS PLACE IN HOSPITALITY
WARNING: CONTAINS HUMOROUS CONTENT AND A MESSAGE.
Conciergbot can do it all. Answer your into ‘romantic’ mode. The TV was turned
questions, check for reservations, offer on and a voice somewhere asked where
you a choice of table at the restaurant, my audio unit was as I had not plugged it
and book and print event tickets. But into an auxiliary.
nope, I don’t want him/her/it either!
I want a nice, warm chat with a human
STEPHEN W. AYERS
CEO of STAY Ahead Hospitality
H
I swore out loud, and the round,
spherical Googlebot informed me that the
being. I want personal recommendations, weather was nice and sunny outside. Who in
not some statistic harvested online in actual hell asked her…sorry, it?
time by the whirring, clicking thing in front of In the corner of my room a static
me with the permanent, sick smile. I want to concierge looking machine came to life.
take a sledgehammer to the damn thing but It noted automatically that I was awake
hold back. Perhaps there is a human brain in and moving about the room, it suggested
there somewhere! Have they gotten that far numerous activities for my wellbeing and
yet? Robocop style? informed me of all my dining possibilities,
complementing that with a color printout.
How it could pan out
I ventured a peek at my bed. Horror.
ey, technology, bring it on! Bring I held off on the conversation with the It no longer resembled a bed; both sides
all of it on if it helps streamline bellboy-cartbot as we go to my room which were in the ‘sitting up and reading’ position.
operations and cuts the time that I it opened remotely, rolled in and placed my What damn button had I pressed to get
need to spend on the mundane hotel things bag on the rack. “Thank you sir,” it said in a that done? Feeling like a genius, I overrided
like check-in and check-out. That’s cool. But tinny voice as it rolled out of the room after my button remote stick and pressed direct
please, please, please do not cut off all waiting for me to step aside. command buttons on the actual bed. It felt
human contact with me, your guest, and
leave me at the mercy of the robots.
The door had hardly closed when
the Roombabot made a beeline for me. I
like a Pyrrhic victory.
Then there was a knock on the door.
grabbed the remote and pressed all the The Bellboybot was there again. “What do
eliminate as many positions as possible to buttons, and looked frantically for the right you want?” I raised my voice, and the thing
lower your payroll. Your shareholders expect one to silence the thing. It stopped and looked distressed. “I notice that you have
as much, and you need to keep them happy. made its way back to base in deep sulk arranged your bed for the night sir. Are your
But please don’t forget me, your customer. mode. I guessed that Roombabots save pillows the right softness for a great night’s
I want a nice, warm, fuzzy, human feeling room cleaning allocated time and are used sleep at our wonderful establishment?” I
when I stay at your hotel. to keep the rooms vacuumed permanently. slammed the door on it and then I heard
But I wondered why the Roombabot it, the noise. I wheeled around towards the
Doormanbot at the entrance? No, not came out at me like she did…was it badly bathroom, panicked.
really. How about that perfect Blondbot programmed, or maybe a timing glitch? Or receptionist checking me in? Again, nope. on purpose?
I know you want to save on employees,
Do I want to be greeted by a
Even if she or it can answer questions.
Having pressed so many buttons I
The bathtub was filling up with warm
water. Actually, it wasn’t a bad idea to take
a bath I thought, and calmed down a little.
looked around me and took stock of the But who asked me if I wanted one in the
my bags to my room? Well, maybe. At sorry situation. The curtains were closed, first place? I must have spoken out loud
least I do not have to tip it, but miss the the coffee machine was brewing coffee because the next thing you know Google
corridor chats on the way! The glorious (not a bad thing really), the lights had gone girl announced: “You did sir, you requested a
What about the Bellboybot who rolls
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www.hotelowner.co.uk
April 2018