NHL season if he didn't earn at least one suspension-worthy thing?
Puck Sage – Adam Burish or Andrew Shaw.
Seth Levin - Does Phil Kessel / David Clarkson not count? If not, Colton Orr on what will be the inevitable retaliation
Tom Dougherty – John Scott.
W.B. Philp – Colton Orr – He’ll take it on himself to retaliate and avenge Lumberjack Kessel.
Most likely to leave the bench for an altercation.
Alex Muscat - David Clarkson..oops, that happened already. I’d say Rich Clune.
Alexis Boucher - Radko Gudas’ beard.
Benjamin Woodward – John Scott.
Cheryl Adams - I think the Buffalo - Toronto preseason game has ensured that it won’t be a Toronto player.
Christopher Triantafilis - Nobody – not after David Clarkson did so already.
Cris Cohen - Raffi Torres - Whenever he returns from his ACL woes.
Puck Sage – P.J. Stock.
Seth Levin - Do we really expect a third? I'll say John Scott. He seems to be a nice sacrificial lamb.
Tom Dougherty – John Scott.
W.B. Philp – Not sure which one, but, if history tells us anything, it will be an Avalanche player as new coach Patrick Roy will direct someone to go over the boards and throw down on an already turtled opposing player.
First player romantically linked to Sean Avery in another online gag from @Iamseanavery.
Alex Muscat - Certainly not Dion Phaneuf.
Alexis Boucher - Paul Bissonnette - Already famous on Twitter, it’s a natural next step for the fourth liner. Also: not afraid to don a speedo.
Benjamin Woodward – Paul Bissonnette.
Cheryl Adams - No comment. #youcanplay
Christopher Triantafilis – James Wisniewski.
Cris Cohen - Dion Phaneuf - Figuring out which one of the two would be considered the "sloppy seconds" of the pair would be fun for all.
Puck Sage - Jeff Skinner.
Tom Dougherty – Dion Phaneuf.
W.B. Philp – James Wisniewski – Gesture or invitation? You decide.
First Fanbase to have a conniption.
Alex Muscat – Vancouver Canucks.
Alexis Boucher - Toronto Maple Leafs - It’s really just a matter of time.
Benjamin Woodward – Toronto Maple Leafs – Isn’t it always?
Cheryl Adams - Who plays the earliest games on Opening Night? Toronto vs. Montréal? Ok – whichever of those teams receives the first weak penalty call.
Christopher Triantafilis – New York Islanders - Because when aren’t they?
Cris Cohen – Vancouver Canucks - (Although the sky already seems to be falling on Broadway, according to some in my Twitter feed)
Jon Pitonzo – Washington Capitals.
Puck Sage – Pittsburgh Penguins.
Seth Levin – Toronto Maple Leafs.
Tom Dougherty – Boston Bruins.
W.B. Philp – Buffalo Sabres – After sitting through just two games with the team wearing the new Nashville Predators ugly cousin’s third jersey, that looks as if it is held together with Duct Tape, the Buffalo fans simply stop showing up.
First player penalized for “tucking.”
Alex Muscat – Nail Yakupov.
Alexis Boucher – Alex Ovechkin.
Benjamin Woodward – Pavel Datsyuk.
Cheryl Adams - Alex Ovechkin - He will probably spend the entire first game with his jersey tucked in, in protest.
Christopher Triantafilis – Jaromir Jagr.
Cris Cohen – Alex Ovechkin - Seems obvious, but with it being a signature of his, he'll likely be the most closely watched and likely nailed for it.
Jon Pitonzo – Alex Ovechkin.
Puck Sage – Alex Ovechkin.
Seth Levin – Alex Ovechkin.
Tom Dougherty – Alex Ovechkin.
W.B. Philp – Alex Ovechkin – Because in Russia sweater tucks you.
First goalie to blame diminished pad size for a poor performance.
Alex Muscat – Ray Emery.
Alexis Boucher - Marc-Andre Fleury.
Benjamin Woodward – Roberto Luongo.
Cheryl Adams – Mike Smith.
Christopher Triantafilis – Ryan Miller.
Cris Cohen – Roberto Luongo - And he'll do it via a witty tweet
Jon Pitonzo – Tim Thomas.
Seth Levin – J.S. Giguere – I would love to say Lundqvist, but I don't see him using it as an excuse.
Tom Dougherty – Ryan Miller – He whines about everything.
W.B. Philp – Patrick Roy.
Over/under - 10 games for Torts to “Brooksie” a writer.
Alex Muscat - Under! I give it eight games.
Alexis Boucher – Under.
Benjamin Woodward – Under.
Cheryl Adams – Under - As his patience is probably worn thin from a losing preseason and as he begins to relax and turn back to regular Torts vs. New-In-Town-Torts, I’m thinking that whoever hands the Canucks their most brutal loss vs. a ‘so-so’ team early in the season – maybe after the Sabres game on Oct. 17th. (8)
Christopher Triantafilis – Under- Torts is Torts.
Cris Cohen – Under – But it depends on whether or not the offending writer is someone he perceives that got beat up at the bus stop as a kid. I’ll take the under and give it seven games into the season.
Puck Sage – Over.
Seth Levin – Under.
Tom Dougherty – Under…WAY under.
W.B. Philp – Next question.