LIFE IS SIMPLE
to your computer or smart phone way of the pocket calculator and
that would tell you the cow’s body eight-track tape player. I’m ready
temperature, heart rate, and even for the 21st Century. With great
the number of times the cow interest, I read further.
ruminated during the past twenty-
four hours. With a projected cost used these devices on neck chains
of only $10-20 each, visions of for a few years and had monitored
sugar plums began to dance in my feed intake and rumen function,
head. but this implant seemed like a beef
cattleman’s dream by recording
If I implanted one in each of
I knew the dairy industry had
my animals, I wouldn’t have to more information and without the
drive the fields each day checking danger of the chain getting caught
on the health of the cattle because on the briars and brambles of my
I could just lie in bed and look at forested grasslands. There had to
their temperatures on my phone. be a catch.
Their heart rate would tell me
if any of them were in distress press release, I discovered that the
through attacks from critters or computer program required to
getting their head stuck in the fork run the system was a few thousand
of a tree. And, although I know dollars and the radio receiver
next to nothing about computer that gathers the information was
electronics, surely someone in the another few thousand. The cows
know could take a torque wrench also had to get within 10-15 feet
Because I’m a member of the to the chip and adjust it from of the receiver to allow the data
so-called ‘farm media’, I receive rumen contractions to uterine to transfer. I was hoping for a
several e-mail press releases each contractions to alert me to when five-mile range through hilly and
week. Most are from companies or each co w started going into labor. I brushy terrain in order for it to
universities that are touting some began to daydream about how easy work in my operation. My sugar
new innovation or product, and I the cattle business was going to be plums had now turned to prunes.
try to scan the crux of each one, in my future.
before hitting the delete button, DELETE.
but occasionally, one garners information is transmitted enough of my attention that I open through radio frequency it to read the details. Such was the identification (RFID) I was also case today. pretty sure that I could now locate missing cows by simply turning on
We are pleased to offer Jerry Crownover’s
“Life is Simple” column. Jerry is a graduate
of the University of Missouri. He and his
wife, Judy, own and operate a ranch west of
Springfield and are FCS Financial members.
We hope you enjoy Jerry’s Ozark humor
and wisdom.
“Life is Simple” Copyright 2018, Jerry Crownover
Some high-tech company
Since the computer chip
had designed a computer chip my phone. So long to my drone…
to implant in cows that would the high tech gadget I’ve owned for
automatically relay information almost three years will now go the
As I read deeper into the
Oh, well…never mind.
HEARTBEAT | SUMMER 2018 13