HEALTHY KIDS · AUGUST 2018
I recently talked about this with
my friend Rachel Cruz on her
show The Rachel Cruz Show. that she will still eventually get
her reward anyway, so why put in
the work?
In our conversation, I discussed
a few ways to ensure your child
does his chores and learns
the value of hard work and
obedience. Tell your child what the
consequences will be if she
doesn’t complete her chores,
then stick to them.
Reward them
for their work.
Growing up with Dave Ramsey
as her father, Rachel says she
received a “commission” for her
chores—an allowance that she
could use however she wanted,
as long as she did her chores.
HOW TO GET YOUR
KIDS TO FINALLY
DO THEIR CHORES
O
ne of the best ways to instill good behavior in your child is
also one of the most challenging things to get your child to
do: chores.
In a culture where bad behavior
in kids seems to be growing
rapidly, employing your child to
contribute to the family, home,
or your community, can greatly
curb your child’s bad behavior or
potential for bad behavior.
Katherine Reynolds Lewis,
author of The Good News About
Bad Behavior, says that when
kids aren’t asked to contribute
to their family, neighborhood or
community, “that really erodes
their sense of self-worth — just
as it would with an adult being
unemployed.”
In addition to this, chores and
work help teach your child
self-control and self-discipline—
both of these are important
characteristics to have as
an adult.
Chores and work
help teach your child
self-control and self-
discipline—both of
these are important
characteristics to
have as an adult.
As valuable as chores are for
your children, most likely, if
you’ve been a parent to a young
child, adolescent or even young
adult, you know that getting
your child to do chores can feel
impossible. They argue with you,
they throw temper tantrums, or
they just plain ignore you when
you tell them to clean their room
or do the dishes. The battle it
requires to get your kids to do
chores often takes longer than
doing the chores themselves.
We all know kids need
incentives. They are not mature
enough to know the long-term
benefits of doing chores. They
need something in the here-
and-now to encourage them. Lay
out a reward system for your
child when he does his chores.
Whether it’s a commission, ice
cream, an outing to his favorite
arcade, make sure it’s something
that will motive him enough
to complete the task and feel
rewarded when he’s done.
Stick to the
consequences.
Just like you have to lay out
a clear reward system for
your child to do her chores,
you also need to lay out clear
consequences for when she
doesn’t complete them. No work?
No money, or video game time or
whatever her reward is.
This is where parents fall down.
They don’t want to implement
consequences because it so
often results in a temper tantrum
or simply requires energy you
probably don’t have at the end
of the day. But sticking to the
consequences is so important
because if you show your child
that you’re not serious about the
consequences, she won’t do her
chores. She will quickly figure out
10 HEALTHY MAGAZINE
Don’t let your child
argue with you.
When kids don’t want to do
their chores, they draw you into
an argument. They argue about
why they should have to do their
chores or when they should do
them. Parents, don’t take the bait.
When your child starts arguing
with you, he’s stalling. He’s trying
to get out of doing the work.
Never argue with your child.
Depersonalize it. Simply say, “I’m
the one who makes the list of
chores and if you do your chores,
this is what you get. And if you
don’t do them, this is what the
consequence will be.”
The argument is a
trap. Don’t fall into it.
Kids need to know how to work.
They need to know what self-
control is and they need to feel
like they are contributing to their
home, family, and community.
It might feel like an impossible
battle now, but the work you
put in will pay off, not only to
get your kids to do their chores
today, but to instill in them a
healthy work ethic, the discipline
of self-control and the joy and
purpose that comes with being
a useful, and employable, part of
society.
Kids need to know
how to work. They
need to know what
self-control is and
they need to feel like
they are contributing
to their home, family,
and community.
By Meg Meeker MD