HCBA Lawyer Magazine Vol. 29, No. 1 | Page 7

E D I T O R ’ S M E S S A G E E d C o m e y - L a w C l e r k t o U. S . B a n k r u p t c y Ju d g e M i c h a e l G. Wi l l i a m s o n d estigMAtizing d epression , p Art ii Kevin love was right … there’s a power to saying things out loud. A s soon as I handed in my article for the last issue, I knew I had chickened out. You see, in the last issue I wrote an article about creating a better environment for talking about mental health. The inspiration for the article was a March 2018 letter that NBA player Kevin Love wrote to The Players Tribune, in which he opened up about how his failure to deal with the emotions from the unexpected death of his grandmother years earlier had, in part, led to a panic attack last season. In his letter, Love, who was devastated by his grandmother’s death, recounts how he never really talked about it. Rather than deal with his emotions, Love buried them and told himself: “I have to focus on basketball. I’ll deal with it later. Be a man.” But after suffering a panic attack last season, Love saw a therapist. And during those therapy sessions, Love was surprised to learn how his grandmother’s death was still causing him pain. Talking about it out loud for the first time was, in Love’s words, eye-opening. The reason I was inspired by Love’s story was because I could relate to it. When I was 10, my dad passed away, leaving my mom to raise me and my three brothers by herself. I was devastated by losing my dad. But like Love, I never talked about it. My mom had a hard enough time raising four boys, I didn’t need to make it any more difficult: “I’ll deal with it later. Be a man.” I had planned to relate that story in my last article, but at the last minute, I edited it out. © Can Stock Photo / iqoncept SEPT - OCT 2018 | HCBA LAWYER Weeks later, my mom died. To say my brothers and I were devastated would be an understatement. But I was struck by what happened when we found out: Each of us immediately opened up how much pain we had suffered by burying the emotions from our dad’s death and how we couldn’t go through that again. Speaking for myself, simply saying those words lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders. Why write about it now? Shortly after the last issue came out, I received a kind e-mail from Hillsborough County Court Judge Margaret Taylor asking permission to share my last article with others. I was humbled. But I’ll confess I was a bit embarrassed too. Here I had written an article about how we needed to create a better environment for talking about mental health, yet I was afraid to do so because it was uncomfortable. As Love explained in his letter, there’s something terrifying and awkward about opening up. But there’s a power to saying things out loud. Now would you permit me a word about my mom? It’s only fitting I mention her here. She was the only known regular reader of this column. No, my mom wasn’t an HCBA member (or even a lawyer); she would just have my wife send her my articles because she loved reading them. There’s not enough room in this column to tell you about what an amazing woman she was. I’ll just say this: I worshipped my mom. I’ll miss her dearly. Kevin Love was right…there’s a power to saying things out loud. 5