Your Uncle from Canarsie Explains the Rapture by Will Nixon Not a week after the Superbowl not an icon was left standing. Icarus hijacked the Japanese blimp to party in Cuba. Dylan sipped sake after chewing on salt water taffy. The queen kidnapped cheerleaders to entertain jaguars for the patriotic showing of colors no flag could contain, then filled her moat with burning champagne; in her pantry we stuffed silverware into our sleeves. You could smell the Jack of Hearts up to his schemes. Cash money like confetti. Forget you ever had a venereal uncle in Brighton Beach, a Communist who did his pornographic dreaming in Russian. Buy a fistful of raffle tickets to treat your wife to the Cyclone. At the top of the ride, fill your pockets with tiny free planets. At least one is guaranteed to feel like Florida in February. Never wear teeth carved from the bones of the last giants. Never wear Speedos in public. Treat the queen to a mai tai. The rapture may come, but bartenders will be here forever. Gyroscope Review 19 !