GUESTLIST 11
2016 / ISSUE 88
GRANDMA KNOWS BEST: BREXIT
Shout out to the 60% of pensioners who voted to leave the EU last week. With a huge amount (75%) of 18 to 24 year olds
voting to remain, it’s almost laughable that the majority have been outvoted by the people who won’t be around for much
longer.our jobs” (sort it out England) and not tax rises. Let’s talk about shifting our life choices. Yes, OUR life choices!
A friend described it in all it’s
eloquent glory: “On behalf of the
younger generations... not cool
That’s like farting in a busy lift just
before you get out”. But with a
hint of lost notalgia and a sprinkle
of xenophobia, it’s not surprising
that the ones on their way out feel
it acceptable to determine such
a heavy fate for the generations
after them.
Why are people over the age
of 50 allowed to vote anyway?
They’ve enjoyed long careers
whilst being a member of the EU
and in a single trade, revelling in
the economic growth and all the
benefits that came with it. But
whilst in their retirement, with no
real need to expand on their work
life and zero need to get on the
housing market, it’s all to easy to
decide what they think is best for
the country. Sure, you can buy
cigarettes at 16, legally have sex
but god forbid a 17 year old might
have a say in the country that
they are the future of.
It’s no secret that the younger
generation are becoming more
and more politically engaged and
whilst we’ll always get the odd
BTEC Becky from Sunderland
who thinks that brown people
are stealing the job that she
didn’t even apply for, the younger
generation are generally making
it their business to get more
involved in politics and so should
surely be given the right to speak
up about it in the form of a vote.
immigration disguised behind
“let’s look after this country first!”
or perhaps people genuinely
believe that contractually
divorcing an entire continent will
see this great land rise but the
But a 70 year old almost on
the way out has the full right to
decide on the living conditions of
the people that will actually live to
experience the changes. Right..
With hardly any jobs as it is,
limited housing possibilities and a
£30k student finance debt, we’ve
now been denied the right to live
and work in 27 other countries.
Sick one!
We’re not sure if it’s some
pathetic fearmongering over
simple, non-negotiable facts are
that big business have already
started considering moving their
staff elsewhere, stock markets
have crashed and the pound is at
an incomprehensible low - a 30
year low against the dollar. And
we’re all thinking the same thing
here. How much will a once 10p
Freddo cost us now? Mental.
Oh! And another big shout out
to the knobs who voted then
posted videos spewing waffle like,
“if I knew how bad it would be, I
wouldn’t have voted leave”. Just
please. Stop.
I suppose there’s the obvious
argument that being the older
generation means being more
informed. But how about no. If in
2016, you get most or all of your
news from print, there’s no way
that you can be a well informed
voter, no way at all. I have zero
problem disenfranchising old
people. If they’re old enough to
enjoy bingo, all this tells me is
that going to a polling station is a
fucking outing for them.
I also can’t trust anyone who
isn’t on Twitter (which a lot of
old people aren’t). I spoke to a
woman in her fifties this morning
who said this sentence to me:
“Oh, I think we’re doing very well
on our Twittergram”.
FUCK
It’s a harsh reality but if a drivers
licence is taken away after a
certain age because the age
deems them unfit to drive, the
exact same could be applied to
voting. If a 16 year old who is
politically engaged and with an
economic, financial and political
future isn’t allowed to vote
because they’re not “developed”
or “mature” enough, an 80 year
old who deliriously dreams of the
“good old days of Great Britain”
shouldn’t go anywhere near a
polling station. In an ideal world,
nobody should be refused the
right to vote but as we live in that
sort of arrangement, we may as
well do it properly.
And whilst we’re on the subject,
why can’t we put a mandatory
IQ test in place for every single
person who wishes to vote?
The sheer fact that the internet
got bombarded with beautiful
souls regretting their pro-Brexit
decision is testament enough
to the lack of effort that alot
of people put in to a vote that
has most certainly changed this
country forever. A decision as
permanent as leaving the EU
shouldn’t be something that
we’re voting on in the first place
and on top of that we’ve got the
BTEC Beckys of this great country
googling “what is the EU” AFTER
VOTING.
HOW??
But hey, there is always Australia
where the sky is blue, the beer is
cold and the people aren’t cunts.
I’m tapping out.