Encouraging M indfulness
in Children
crashing down. But we try our best to honor
the time and space for them to just be who they
are, because that is when we find their most
centered selves emerging. Or perhaps that is
when we are most able to notice.
Here are five tips for preserving
mindfulness in our children:
1. Allow for plenty of unscheduled down time:
Kids may complain of getting bored, or you
may see them get restless. It is important for
children to become aware of these emotional
states and see them through on their own.
Consider refraining from stepping in with solutions or ideas. This process helps them to learn
that they can sit with all sorts of emotions, and
that emotional states come and go. Often periods of intense creativity arise from boredom
and quiet.
2. Model mindfulness:
Make time for your own mindfulness practice.
Whether you have a formal sitting practice or
try to implement conscious awareness throughout your day, make it a priority. Kids will do
what they see us do, more than they will listen
to what we say. Use your practice as a springboard to discuss setting intentions, or cultivating gratitude for the small and big blessings of
our lives: “I am grateful for the fact that we are
all able to sit down together for dinner today.”
3. Ask lots of questions:
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Ask questions that encourage children to connect to their senses. “What does the air after
today’s storm smell like to you?” or “What do
you see in the clouds today?” Using our senses
or awareness of our breathing is a way to connect immediately to the present moment. We
can also ask our kids questions to consider
other people’s feelings, or their impact on others. For example, “There was a new boy in
class today? What do you think that was like
for him?”
4. Manage your expectations:
Kids may not always be in the mood to discuss
big picture ideas like gratitude and compassion. Use kid friendly language and consider
bringing up such topics in casual passing, or at
night before bed when they are relaxed. Some
kids may even be open to short meditation
practices, like focusing on breath or the flame
of a candle. Some kids may not be. It is ok to
be brief, or to let it go if they are not receptive
in a given moment. We are just planting seeds.
Even the introduction of mindfulness to their
developing minds can be helpful.
5. Discover opportunities for compassion:
Mindfulness ultimately is one tool to recognize
our interdependence, and find ways to relate
to one another with an open heart. Discover
opportunities for kindness and compassion
within your family, and in the larger community. This could mean involving children in a
simple service project, or making it a point to
use positive, kind language with those we come
across.
The amazing thing about the process of “teaching” kids mindfulness, is that it is a journey for
child and parent alike. Teacher becomes student becomes teacher, as we together deepen
the process of occupying our bodies and living
our lives as they unfold before us. There are no
mistakes, no right ways or wrong ways, just the
ways that work for each family. Let us encourage our children, just as they encourage us, to
cultivate a more curious and fully lived life.
The process itself is a gift and a blessing for all
of us.